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Poetic Surge (Poetry [what else?])

Discussion in 'Creativity Surge' started by Alustriel a.k.a. Ashley, May 9, 2003.

  1. Alustriel a.k.a. Ashley Banned

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    Please pardon any, umm, sexual expletives in this. And it doesn't follow any particualr storyline, FYI.

    She rose like the moon into the heaven's embrace
    She opened her mouth of the dew to taste
    And then came the sun!
    She retreated in haste!
    All scorched with the rays of your burning!

    The nightingale lay trembling
    In his brutal hand,
    Its throat that pulsed
    With fear,
    Was strangled in a moment of coarse passion,
    Dear--
    Remember me when I am gone,
    If you would kill for love!

    Unspent kisses clog my throat,
    Unspent smiles lurk
    Behind my lips.
    Unspent passion dams my breath
    And sucks back in
    The unspent tongue!
    My hands
    That ache
    With unspent caress
    Tremble
    When I think
    Of you.
     
  2. Dalveen

    Dalveen Rimmer gone Bald Veteran

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    rather cheerful poem, but netherless it was good it would like to read more of your work. i posted here as the poem had no replys because of the sp battle but maybe people will notice it now
     
  3. Alustriel a.k.a. Ashley Banned

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    I hope so.....

    *has evil thoughts about all members, save Dalveen*
     
  4. Rallymama Gems: 31/31
    Latest gem: Rogue Stone


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    I noticed it before but couldn't comment. Yes, I'll even admit that the "Battle" has been quite the distraction!

    "Cheerful" is not within the first hundred or so words that that poem brings to my mind. It seems to describe a (young) woman's "once burned, twice shy" reaction to a very bad breakup.

    Did TakaT scare someone off, AakaA?
     
  5. Dalveen

    Dalveen Rimmer gone Bald Veteran

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    rallymama it was a bit of sarcism, no offense to AakaA's poem
     
  6. 8people

    8people 8 is just another way of looking at infinite ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran

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    [​IMG] Sorry I didn't reply sooner, I read it then noticed the fight thread :x

    Forgot I hadn't posted here.

    I think it was a good poem. I like the way it changes as it goes through the poem, the reference from she to me and as it changes from longing, to fear and back to longing.
     
  7. Alustriel a.k.a. Ashley Banned

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    He did threaten Brett, my b/f once.


    *glares at TakaT*
     
  8. Sniper Gems: 28/31
    Latest gem: Star Sapphire


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    As creator of 'The Battle for Sorcerers Place' I apologise for stopping this thread getting its just publicity. And indeed, the attention it has is unjust as i must admit, i rather like your poem :) Keep them coming ... I might post a poem as well sometime ...

    And here it is. I hope its okay for me to post my poem here ...
    Tell me what you think. Keep in mind that i wrote it when i was in well, you can guess the state i was in.

    The field of pain

    I walk amogst a field of pain
    piercing and stabbing at my soul
    The blood pours out freely
    Open wounds won't heal fully
    Until I walk out and restored
    To the glory that was once me
    But i crawl, dragging my soul
    Sometimes straight on, backwards
    or even turn a full circle

    I am lain out bare
    For all to see
    My miserable corpse
    Spilling out its ruin
    Waiting to be destroyed
    but praying for MY angel
    of LOVE and DEPRESSION
    to lift me out
    To her haven of offering far away
    With my pierced, stabbed,
    tortured, ruined and decimated soul

    I can only wait
    Only time will tell
    What seems a week
    Becomes an eternity
    How long can i wait
    until i fade?
    Leaving only my sorrow and pain
    Whilst I ponder in ruin
    My being continues to soak
    This field ...
    This field of pain ... my hell

    There we go ... tell me what youthink.

    [ May 13, 2003, 00:45: Message edited by: Sniper ]
     
  9. 8people

    8people 8 is just another way of looking at infinite ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran

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    [​IMG] Good Sniper,

    Does it relate to the SP fight? ;)
     
  10. Sniper Gems: 28/31
    Latest gem: Star Sapphire


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    LMAO! Having read it, it could do but unfortunately (sp) no ;)

    I made it back in late March/ early April when i was missing my ex alot.
     
  11. Dalveen

    Dalveen Rimmer gone Bald Veteran

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    nice poem, poor you about the ex thing, but remeber you have friends here a sp you can lean on

    [edit: having read that last bit of my reply again it seems a bit cheesy, soz about the cheese folk]
     
  12. Alustriel a.k.a. Ashley Banned

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    Another poetic surge:

    He thought too much like
    Me...and we should
    Have kissed hours ago.

    You hold your breath
    When you should hold
    Your tongue, and you hold
    Your tongue when you should hold
    My hand.

    And I should delgate more authority to myself,
    But I can't help thinking that you are
    Thinking, thinking, what is he thinking?
     
  13. Sniper Gems: 28/31
    Latest gem: Star Sapphire


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    Okay here's another poem I made nearly 5 minutes ago. You'll get the idea of how i'm feeling as you read. Hopefully you shall like it and please, feel free to tell me what you think of it. If you want more insight into why i write about it, just pm me. Hopefully, Master of Nuhn will understand what I'm going through? It doesn't have a title i'm afraid ... maybe you SPers could think of a decent name?

    I crumble beneath the weight
    Of the love I hold for you
    As I watch you fly away
    And return to my hand
    Sometimes its just you I see
    Sometimes in the distance,
    I make out another
    Preying on you
    Before turning to me,
    Death comes and grins
    Blood pouring from its eyes
    And tears of fear from mine
    Begging me to ask
    Why? Why?
    Why do i put myself through this?
    Surely i have lost?
    Lost the battle and the war?
    But recollections breath faintly
    Leaving me a ray of hope,
    a twinkle from a star
    Edging me to not give up
    And fight back for her - my love
     
  14. Dalveen

    Dalveen Rimmer gone Bald Veteran

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    yeh that is really good sniper ive got a good title "why?"
    it suits the middle bit of the poem and i think i can see what your going through judging from the poem
     
  15. The Scholar Of Thought Gems: 1/31
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    Beautiful rose, you must live in that infinite darkness that exists when I close my eyes
    Travelling tirelessly along the endless reaches of my mind and back
    Never truly vanished from my thought but hiding momentarily
    Only to burst out bright as never before, like a warm sunrise
    Bright and empowering after a night of death and mourning
    And I the Earth, once cool and shivering
    Now basking under the prismatic aura of the heavens
    Let us stand in perfect alignment
    So that you may bless me with your auburn gaze, strong and elegant
    Let us be lke the harp and flute
    Intermingled in perfect harmony and bliss
    Both leading the interlude to a kiss
     
  16. Alustriel a.k.a. Ashley Banned

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    Getting older is hard to face . . . as the years march on
    Nobody wants to pay attention to me anymore
    No one calls no one visits.
    Time piles on the years the aches the pains
    Sometimes I wish I was dead
    But most of the time I feel beautiful vibrant
    I want to run through the leaves
    And fall and tumble laughing
    With yellow, orange, and green tangled in my hair

    I flirted with lots of young men and danced the night away . . .
    I was happy especially if they sent flowers
    The house smelled like a garden the flowers have all died.

    I loved the summers at the ocean
    Hiking in the mountains sleeping under the stars.
    Everyday was full of new people and laughter
    Now I sit gazing out the window at the snow covered mountain tops
    Aware that someday like the clouds on their way to another storm
    I too will pass . . . .
    =============================================
    If a heart could beat cold,
    My blood would run hot.
    If a man could be bold,
    Then I would be not.
    If a love could be born
    With one who not knew,
    Then I myself must I scorn,
    For I am in love with you.

    If eyes could be read
    Like the pages of a book,
    Then stories I would tell
    With the simplest look.
    If love could be won
    Through suffering and pain
    Then you would be mine,
    And I would do it again.

    If a touch could mean something
    Like an emotion thought of,
    Then I would hold you tightly
    To prove to you my love.
    If a kiss could be felt
    From a distance afar,
    Then I would embrace
    From wherever you are.

    If knowing my thoughts
    Could make your heart turn,
    Then of you I would think
    Till your love I could earn.
    If you liked to talk
    And wished me to listen,
    Then my mouth would fall silent
    While my eyes would glisten.

    If a heart could beat cold,
    My blood would run hot.
    If a man could be bold,
    Then I would be not.
    If a love could be born
    With one who not knew,
    Then I myself must I scorn,
    For I am in love with you.
     
  17. Kasandra Gems: 2/31
    Latest gem: Fire Agate


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    Waiting...

    Kasandra, standing at the wall of remembrance
    Screams silently into the black fire.
    Her ego drowns in the dark emptiness of Hell
    Into the ebon stillness she descends.

    Surrendering...

    Her thoughts, webbed as the cracks in a mirror,
    As she kneels before a living throne, where no man sits.
    Here, beyond the realm of Death, she patiently waits.

    Consummating...

    A blasphemous, incestuous alliance
    With dark bloody lusts and lost innocence
    Her dry soul must drink its goblet of wet pain.

    Enduring...

    His touch upon her cheek and throat,
    while he licks and bites, then at last feasts.
    Resigned, she waits for her ultimate fate.

    Waiting...

    Alone Kasandra walks through the passages of Hell
    and utters only silence. Here there is no day or night
    but only ebony shadows that weep for light.
    Now, once upon the dark, she welcomes damnation.
     
  18. Tiamat Gems: 17/31
    Latest gem: Star Diopside


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    Haven't posted around here for a while...my avatar gone too. [EDIT: Oh, it's not gone. Who told me it was?] But...I have this one, and I'm rather proud of it. "Cheerful" as all my writing tends to be....


    ROADS


    No emotion
    Unwound, run dry and empty
    Never meant to be frozen, never needed warmth
    Always smouldering in evanescent anger.
    Now I am only my sorrow, which is
    Slate-grey clouds, ready to pour rain.

    Can't write
    No more streams of prismatic ichor
    Should I cut myself again to bleed rainbow
    Drown myself in water that I might
    See roads of seaweed, which are

    Infinite and
    Paved in bones, the road that will take me
    Home to Emerald City, gilded cage of
    Glass gems. It will glitter, beneath the slime
    Beneath the rotting corpses. I will belong.

    Don't know
    What I'm looking for, or how to look;
    Some is maya, but I no longer care.
    If the road I cannot see is there, all I need to do
    Is wait. And it should move my feet.

    I will no longer be alone. Take my hand,
    For I am blind Teiresias, and
    Lead me into light.


    Oh, and in case you don't know; maya is the Hindu word for the illusion that obscures the nature of reality, and Teiresias is, in Greek mythology, a blind seer who lost his vision in return for his gift of second sight- he comes up a lot giving prophecies of doom.
     
  19. Eze Gems: 24/31
    Latest gem: Water Opal


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    I float in the space.
    I was, I am, I will be
    I am your reflection in the mirror
    So beautiful outside,
    Rotten and corrupted inside
    You feast on the souls of the ignorant
    To be beautiful, to be forever
    But none escape Death and I will take you away to the land where Dead Weep.
    /\
    I
    I
    I
    SUCKS
     
  20. Ahrontil Gems: 8/31
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    [​IMG] Is it ok to post comments in this thread?
    This is my humble (and highly subjective) opinion.

    @ Kasandra, that poem is very disturbing, and it is great because it is disturbing, it manages to invoke an involuntary emotional response.

    Is it about vampyres or something much worse? Maybe if I knew what it was actually about, that would spoil it. What do you think? Please give it a title, it deserves it.

    @Tiamat. Great prose, I especially liked its form. The last stanza feels like it needs a couple more lines, especially when you have introduced such a great metaphorical character such as Teiresias. The protagonist (for want of a better word) seems to lack Teiresias' Clear Sight ability but the text in the last stanza seems to indicate that he/she has it. Is he/she like a blind Teiresias or like a blind 'Blind Teiresias' ie. Teiresias without any sense of his surroundings (present or future) at all?

    @Eze. There's a message in there somewhere, maybe too many messages all at once, If it was spread out, with maybe one slap of my vain face at a time, it would probably work.

    @Everyone. Thankyou, most enjoyable. :wave:
     
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