To be a good wife (http://wald.heim.at/redwood/510013/images/GOODWIFE.JPG)

*sigh* :D

I'm just kidding.
Holy ****, can that be really true?
Somebody said how the Islamis are treating their women is medieval, but what was that?
This stuff isn't half a century old.
*shakes his head in disillusion*


[This message has been edited by BogiTheWaverer (edited October 23, 2001).]

And why has all this changed? Its a shame i say! Wouldnt it be nice for us men to come home to a mindless robot that only exist for our pleasure? Whose only purpose in life is to satisfie our needs? Who wouldnt talk back at you and always do as she has been told.
what a absolutely fantastically
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dull world...

[This message has been edited by joacqin (edited October 23, 2001).]

Funny... Most of the things on that list are things I used to enjoy doing. (In a happy relationship, that is). All that stuff about coming home to a nice dinner, clean happy kids, a warm smile, and a quiet house... Been there, done that.

And why the hell not? I know there's nothing I hate more after coming home, than to be met at the door, with demands for dinner, or screaming, grubby kids, and a mess of toys strewn over the rug. How depressing. I guess because I work at home, it's easier for me, but honestly, a lot of the stuff on that page is only something anyone could do for someone they love. It doesn't matter which sex it is.

But maybe I'm just strange. :heh: Whatever...

Not at all Darien, most of those things are great for a stay at home wife/mother, since those things are in effect her "job".

But to say things like "remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours" as if being a housewife makes you a moron or "try to understand his world of strain and pressure" as if taking care of a home is such an easy stress-free environment, is IMO quite a ways off the path of reality.

And in this day and age where oftentimes the wife works in a career just as the husband does, well it's ridiculous to think that the wife should shoulder all the responsibilities of maintaining the household.

[This message has been edited by Blackthorne TA (edited October 23, 2001).]

Yes, of course, which is why I said "most" of the list. But in all honesty, while I don't think that the reasoning behind those two comments is the best, I do agree with the concept. Part of what makes coming home at the end of a long day, is being able to relax and let off steam. I'm perfectly willing to listen first, and talk later.

That's not to say that I think my husband's topics of conversation are more important, but it's only that part of making him happy is letting him release the stress (or whatever) of his own day. After all, I can take the time to relax and wind down whenever I choose, since my job is my home. He doesn't get that chance until he walks in the door, so why shouldn't I give him the opportunity first?

I despise living with stress and tension, and as far as I'm concerned, pampering the man I love and showing him the respect and admiration that I have for him is all a part of what's listed above. Of course, this is all with the understanding that I *don't* work outside the home, as you said. The major difference, I suppose is not that I do these things because it's my "job" or my role as "The Wife," but because I love him. And when he's happy, I'm happy.

Hmmm, my wife gladly does all these things for me. In fact, if she's going to be away for some time, she prepares my meals and puts them labelled in the freezer. Damn rights, when I'm hungry, I want food. When I want peace and quiet, don't talk to me about problems.

'Huh, wha?' Moeken wakes up from his deep slumber and goes off to inspect the whip marks on his back.

In reality, we both work and we both have house hold duties. Cooking and cleaning are shared. :)

Hey Darien, you can be my wife any time! ;) Though I suppose my girlfriend of 5 years wouldn't be too happy at that prospect :hahaerr:

It's my opinion though that the wife needs and deserves just as much pampering, respect and admiration as the husband. And also IMO in a good relationship, it's easier to release the stress (or whatever) together than alone. :)

I have to say, I'm in agreement with most of what I read on that link.

It isn't that what the husband has to say actually IS so much more important. It's just having that attitude (i.e., putting your husband first) that really counts.

And of course, you could say much of the same about the husband. The husband should have the same attitude towards the wife, putting her needs first and sacrificing his desires to fulfill hers. That's what love is about -- giving.

No doubt, if you love your partner you make your time together at home as nice as you can, but this article reduces the role of the wife to beeing cute, a bit stupid and to shut up when the man is talking.
The managing of a household and the education of children is shown as a minor work that is not competable with the hard work of the man who brings the money.
I know the picture has changed in the last 50 years, but really? I know enough machos who still want to see their wifes that way.
Both going to work, but the tiny piece of housekeeping is her evening hobby, he's on the sofa watching TV.
More respect for the ladies at home!

Looking at my arguments, i have the strange feeling that i'm very well educated by my sweethard. ;)

This is a great theory, but in my experience does not translate well into real life.

For example ... (on my birthday, not that I'm bitter about it :toofar: ... "Me and the baby already ate. Why don't you pick yourself up some McDonalds on your way home?"

On a Biblical Note ... chech out how Proverbs 31 describes the ideal wife. (Gotta get me one of these!!!!)

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is worth more than precious rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She will not hinder him but help him all her life. She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. She is like a merchant's ship; she brings her food from afar. She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day's work for her servant girls. She goes out to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard. She is energetic and strong, a hard worker.18She watches for bargains; her lights burn late into the night. Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber.20She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. She has no fear of winter for her household because all of them have warm clothes. She quilts her own bedspreads. She dresses like royalty in gowns of finest cloth. Her husband is well known, for he sits in the council meeting with the other civic leaders. She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants. She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs with no fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule when she gives instructions. She carefully watches all that goes on in her household and does not have to bear the consequences of laziness. Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: "There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!" Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

Heh. I think very few of us will be blessed enough to find a Proverbs 31 wife. Maybe if they came by mail order....

Things like that are the #1 reason I dont date men...

...well, the #2 reason actualy

Heh, just realized everything I wanted to say is already said :)

So I'll just take this chance to say hi to the mob :roll: It's been a while, has it not ?

I read this description to Mathetais, and then just started laughing. You should have seen his face :) :) :D

Home cooked food? Why bother when Subway is only a mile or two away?

Seriously though, isn't it love more than chores that defines a relationship? So what if my hubby never takes out the garbage unless I remind him. He cares about me. The same goes with my cleaning, cooking, ironing, etc, etc at least I care enough to notice that it isn't done :grin:

hmm personally i think that waiting on a man hand and foot does nothing but spoil them and the way to a mans heart is not through his stomach :evil: Men need a lady in the parlour and a vixen in bed, thats the key to being the perfect wife! Then they cook for you! *giggle* Household duties are meant to be shared. Same with changing the babies bum..lol I personally do my share, he does his, but the real way to keep a man happy is to keep him satisfied... 6 years in november for us.

[This message has been edited by Kitiara (edited November 02, 2001).]

Sounds good to me :) but hey... I'm a guy! :p

/me shrugs. Somehow, I think there's much more to love than sex. I'm a red-blooded man, but at the same time, when I think of being with my wife (if I had one) I don't think of the bedroom. I think of being on a hillside together underneath a starry sky sharing our deepest feelings and secrets.

As a very wise contestant in the Norwegian reality show (is that possible?) "The Farm" said: Love is something special, while sex is just a need.

Personally I don't mind not making my own food, as long as I don't get sick by eating it ;).

Erm.... My mom doesn't do that for *my* dad... she comes home after he comes home, my dad makes the poor kids(me and me bro) do all the work. and my mom is definitly not pleasure :p

who said anything bout sex?? I personally was refering to the act of love. But if you all think that marriage means no sex.. then maybe you better not get married...lol

*ahem* reread! I said there is "more to love than sex". By implication this means that sex must be a part of love. I just don't happen to think it's the most important part.

Personally I think platonic love can exist as well, but that's a different discussion altogether.

As someone said early in this thread, compare this to the taliban. We could see a trend here, as society develops, women's rights get better, just like slavery disappears when a country is prosperous enough. Now, could the taliban opression of women be explained by their lack of development? And if so, can this development be improved by means of bombs? :nono:

I'm really surprised how un-controversial that column was with this group. I thought more of the women would be offended. Not me though! I try to treat my mate the way that article describes, but he treats me the same way so it all balances out.

I have found that setting up "roles" in a relationship for doing various chores is very relaxing. I'm sure glad women don't have to do *all* the chores anymore but in our relationship we definitely have "his chores" and "her chores", which means we never have to argue about whose "turn" it is to do something. That's very relaxing. He never has to buy groceries or cook a meal, and he doesn't have to feel guilty about that because it's my job, not his. And I can put my feet up with a drink and a book after supper while he cleans up- because that's his job. Paradise!

I disagree though with the idea that sex is not the most important part of marriage. If you love someone but they aren't #1 to you in the sex appeal department, just be buddies. Otherwise you'll start looking at people you find sexier than your spouse. So don't marry someone unless he/she can melt your teeth- it's not "meant to be". That's not to say that friendship and love aren't also important- but sex is the one part of a marriage you can't compromise on.

*sigh* This gives a new meaning to the expression from robot wars; "house robot". What happended to passion and romance? Fantasy and adventure? ok. Ok. I live a life far from this I guess.

What I'm trying to say is sex is the outward, physical expression of an inward emotion. Without that inner feeling for the individual, sex becomes a form of recreation. Generally, when a married couple's sex life dwindles, it's because the love between them has already been disappearing, rather than the other way around.

To equate physical attraction with real love is completely wrongheaded IMNSHO.