We all get it. e-mail spam. But I want to know what subject lines have caught your eye and then just been full of spam in the message? What are those memorable ones. The ones you might not even delete because you find them funny.

I got this just now:

Subject line: Do you remember me?

Hi BRIAN,

I am your dreams and aspirations from about 10 years ago? Do you even remember me? Or have you settled in to a rut? Let's face it, most people have given up on their dreams and are just living paycheck to paycheck...Why?

That's a good question! Why on earth would you be struggling during the most exciting time in the history of man...the digital revolution? The world is being connected via the internet. Average people are earning fortunes. Why not you?

I'll tell you why...because you don't believe it is possible for you. Think about this for a minute. If you don't believe it is possible, it will never happen. Are you resigned to that?...nothing will ever change for you. Of course you aren't. You're just skeptical, broke, computer illiterate, had a tough break,or one of the other typical excuses for not taking action.

Here's the deal. There IS a great opportunity out there for you. This opportunity IS affordable, it IS easy to do, and it IS guaranteed to make you money. You have NEVER seen a guarantee like this before. Nor have you seen a system like this. ANYONE can do this. Start making money on the internet today. Do you really want to tell your grandkids that the internet boom passed you by? I don't think so. Get in the game.

Click here.

----
My version:

Hi Spammer,

I'm number 46,902 on that list you spammed 10 days ago. Do you even remember me? Or has someone kicked your butt? Let's face it, millions want to do just that. But why?

That's a good question! Why on earth would people be mad at you for clogging their inboxes during the most exciting time during the history of man, the creation of e-mail! Millions of people live on and thrive in this wonderous digital age. Why not you?

I'll tell you why...because you are a freaking moron. Do you honestly believe anyone is getting to click on this crap? Much less read about it? Much less make stupid parodies of it?

Here's the deal. This IS a great opportunity. This opportunity is easy, affordable, and is guaranteed to make millions of people happy. All you have to do is assassinate Bill Gates. Are you going to let this opportunity pass you by? I don't think so. Quit being lame.

Kick here.

I'd give you some of mine, but I've been blocking everything since monday.

What I hate about hotmail is they won't give you a setting to "return all mail to sender".

I used to get about 80 junk emails a day, even on the "highest" filter setting. I let it completely fill up for about 2 or 3 weeks. Only when it fills up do they start returning stuff to the sender.

It's down to about 40 a day, now. I never get any klez stuff; just the "Hottest Porn of the Year" kinda things.

I have a friend thaat collected all the spam mail that he received over two years, and the next time he got spammed he sent that accumulation to them. Needless to say, he was left alone for a while after that.
What's worse than those odd subject lines is forewords you get from your friends that think that a particular piece of spam mail is actually true, that drives me crazy.

I keep getting these dumm emails that don't even make any sense. Occasionally they appear with the names of people in my hotmail address book. Sometimes they dont even have any test in them.

Example
Subject: Klez protection Tool (or something like that)
Body:
This is a new tool.
I wish you would like it.

OR
This is my new site
I wish you would like it.

OR
I have a new game
I wish you would like it.

You get the idea!?!?
Do you think these are just spam or something a bit more serious??

Most things I get:
Free Driving license
VIAGRA
Insurance (sp) Policies
Debt-help
You have a secret admirer

I block them all, it helps just litle...

Whoops, didnt read the question right.
Well, I don't get funny spam, so I delete them all.

[ October 31, 2002, 12:51: Message edited by: Master of Nuhn ]

For some reason I have gotten alot of spammail from some woman that claims she is pregnant. Title 'I am pregnant' I have never actually opened up and checked what it was all about.
Hmm perhaps I should.... :eek:

Some @$$ called Random freak or cahowes28 sends me e-mails (Virus packed) saying everysingle time :
"Droping shoulders
.
.
.
.
.
check the atachment"

He really pisses me off!

Padeen!

I have several layers of email to filter out the spam and idiotic emails.

There is the "peremiter" layer, which is a Yahoo account. I use this for sites that make you register in order to download or view content (Gamespy, forums where I don't intend to actually post anything, I just want to read the info). Sometimes I will register computer games with this address to get rid of nag windows. Mail on this account is never actually read, but I log in once a week and delete everything on it.

The I have an "outer" layer hotmail account, which is what I use when I sign up for something I actually might want to read the emails from, but am still afraid they will give it to all the spammers. Used for things like forum registrations that I intend to post on, ordering from Amazon, ebay, etc. Is changed whenever too many spammers leech onto me. In fact, it is due for a change right now, I'm getting spam that attempts to seem personal by putting my name in the subject line. Only it always gets the name wrong. For instance, it will say "David, here's the info", only my name is not David.

Then you have the "inner" layer of Hotmail, which most of my friends have. This address is never given publicly, and is used as a backup to my ISP email. Due to the limited access, it does not have to be changed as much.

At the "core" is my ISP email address. In order for someone to get this address, they must be on the outer layer for a few months, then move to the inner layer for a few more, all without spamming me. Since I can't change this (at least not easily), I am very selective about who has access to the core.

I have tried to use services like Spamcop, but it is very confusing to use and does not seem to do much good. I used to be able to block spammers on addresses, then keywords. But that failed after a while when they learned to avoid putting the keywords in the subject. For a while I was able to get the "real" address that the spam was being sent from and sign the address up for every site I could think of, but the spammers have learned to disguise their real addresses. My only resort is the multi-layer defense system described above. It is a bit of work, but seems to work quite well.

I have both the inner and outer hotmail layers hooked up to Outlook Express, so it's not as much of a hassle as it might seem. I don't even have to go to the Hotmail page anymore to check it, unless I'm accessing it from a different computer.

Recently, however, A new tactic used by Infrogrames has been worrying me. I went to thier website forums to get some information about Roller Coaster Tycoon 2, and it made me sign up with an email. I punched in the outer layer hotmail account, but got a message saying that for some reason or another, they were only allowing people with ISP email addresses to register. Free email accounts can not register to thier forums. This tactic has me worried, since they didn't even have a disclaimer about not giving my address to anyone. I hope it doesn't become widespread.

This just in!

Free trial pills for Breast Enhancemet!
:bigeyes:
Too bad I'm a guy!
:thumbdown:

And a free Noika Phone. Yes that's right, Noika not Nokia.

Zoiks!

I keep getting crap about getting my teeth their brightest, making money all the time - EVEN WHILE ASLEEP!!! - and, recently, about earning a diploma over the Internet without ever leaving the house. I find it helps to block them one at a time with Hotmail, because then you get the option to block ALL e-mail with the same @whatever.com as that one. For example.

1@something.com sends me spam. I block him.
then something.com just points a different robot at me, from 2-12312412431474203.
"block all from", though, and something.com will never bother me again.

I get stuff about Viagra all the time. And apparently "Jeremy" wants to help me make my credit "disappear!" I'm so excited...

Got this one today:

(Name of towns/persons and countries are changed, because i was bored :rolleyes: )

ATTENTION: CHAIRMAN/CEO


Sir,

I am Bob, a native of Bobtown in Bobland and I am a Director of Project Implementation with the Bobland Department of Mining & Natural Resources. First and foremost, I apologize using this medium to reach you for a transaction/business of this magnitude, but this is due to confidentiality and prompt access reposed on this medium. Be informed that a member of the Bobland Export Promotion Council (SEPC) who was at the Government delegation to your country during a trade exhibition gave your enviable credentials/particulars to me. I have decided to seek a confidential co-operation with you in the execution of the deal described Hereunder for the benefit of all parties and hope you will keep it as a top secret because of the nature of this transaction.

Within the Department of Mining & Natural Resources where I work as a Director and with the cooperation of four other top officials, we have in our possession as overdue payment bills totaling Fourteen Million, Two Hundred Thousand U. S. Dollars ($14,200,000.) which we want to transfer abroad with the assistance and cooperation of a foreign company/individual to receive the said fund on our behalf or a reliable foreign non-company account to receive such funds. More so, we are handicapped in the circumstances, as the Bobland Civil Service Code of Conduct does not allow us to operate offshore account hence your importance in the whole transaction.

This amount $14.2m represents the balance of the total contract value executed on behalf of my Department by a foreign contracting firm, which we the officials over-invoiced deliberately. Though the actual contract cost have been paid to the original contractor, leaving the balance in the Tune of the said amount which we have in principles gotten approval to remit by Bobbussiness for Telegrams(B.T.) to any foreign bank account you will provide by filing in an application through the Justice Ministry here in Bobland for the transfer of rights and privileges of the former contractor to you.

I have the authority of my partners involved to propose that should you be willing to assist us in the transaction, your share of the sum will be 30% of the $14.2 million, 60% for us and 10% for taxation and miscellaneous expenses. The business itself is 100% safe, on your part provided you treat it with utmost secrecy and confidentiality. Also your area of specialization is not a hindrance to the successful execution of this transaction. I have reposed my confidence in you and hope that you will not disappoint me.

Please,let me know immediately whether or not you are willing to assist us through my e-mail address (nobodyexceptbob@home.com) and provide me also with your phone & fax numbers to enable me give you more details on this transaction upon your acceptance of this proposal. If you are not, it will enable me scout for another foreign partner to carry out this deal I want to assure you that my partners and myself are in a position to make the payment of this claim possible provided you can give us a very strong Assurance and guarantee that our share will be secured and please remember to treat this matter as a very confidential matter, because we will not comprehend with any form of exposure as we are still in active Government Service and remember once again that time is of the essence in this business.

I wait in anticipation of your fullest co-operation.

Yours faithfully,

Bob
OOOOOkkkaaaayyyy, this might not be spam, but WTF!!

[ November 09, 2002, 12:31: Message edited by: Morgoth ]

We used to get those in regular mail 10 years back, but they've obviously expanded to spam mail as well. I heard quite a lot of morons actually fell for it and sent money on scams like that. Hard to believe how gullible some people are...

Why'd you change the names? They're all fake anyway.

Well if they were fake anyway, why not make them funnyfake :)

First goes:

Guaranteed to increase, lift and firm your
breasts in 60 days or your money back!!

100% herbal and natural. Proven formula since
1996. Increase your bust by 1 to 3 sizes within 30-60
days and be all natural.Now we come to The anarchists cookbook - well, just read this "statements of customers":

"Dear Sirs, I just got your Anarchist Cookbook CD in the mail today and I want to thank you for providing such great information! I was amazed at the depth in which it explained some of the revenge tactics/bomb making. The part about growing marijuana in your back yard also caught my eye. Threre is so much information on this CD that I may never have time to look at it all. The bonus CDs are also great. Thanks!" Evan S. from St. Paul, MN :bang:

"Hi Quiksilver, I am convinced that this CD has saved me HUNDREDS of dollars just with the police radar jamming system. I love the cop's face when I blow past him and he can't get a reading on how fast I'm going. By the time he realizes it was me blocking the signal I am always long gone! I would pay $50 just for this informtion alone, not to mention the other goodies inside the CDs. Thanks!" Larry L. from Greatfalls, MN :bang:

"Hi, I just wanted to say thank you for offering this CD to the public. I bought this CD just for the part on how to restore my credit. I used to not be able to even open a bank account without hassle. After using the techniques explained I just got approved for a $3,000 limit Visa Card. I hope this will also help me getting a loan on my next car. I don't know what I would do without this information! Thanks Quiksilver!" Leslie V. from Austin, TX :bang: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! :aaa:

The only spam I'm getting on my hotmail account, is the mails from hotmail saying "How to reduce spam" or "service messages". And you can't block those :(