What are the corny chat up lines that you use when you are extremely drunk, and seeing even the ugliest dame as that sexy english teacher you had in high school.

"Excuse me...you're standing on my penis."

"F*** me if I'm wrong, but is your name Fred?"

"Wow! Those things are as big as my head!"

Can I borrow a quarter? I have to call God and tell him he's lost an angel!

I don't really have fixed chat-up lines. I come up with them as the battlefield situation necessitates. While some of them are less than holy, I frown on animalish ones revolving around reproductive organs and similar.

When I'm really drunk, and I mean *really*, I switch to French, compose false-Shakespeare or just some on-the-fly bard work.

Generally flirting loses any charm when it's planned beforehand. I so much enjoy verbal swordplay and context remarks... Hints, puzzles, equivocalness. This is where gentlemen differ from boors ;)

The best I've heard, though I've not either the guts or classlessness not sure which, to use it is:

"You're ugly but intrigue me."

"Hi!" Has always worked for me. But I am a firm believer in the wingman system. When you attack, your friend/wingman must do everything he can to distract the girl's friends...They try to do you in EVERY time!

I walk up, look deeply in her eyes and say, "Red Five, we're going in!"

:lol:

Seriously, don't get drunk, marry for money, and leave the chat-ups for the place God intended them to be used ... irc! ;)

"I Forgot my home phone number...can I have yours?"

"Is it hot in here or is it just you?"

"I like what you're wearing...but I bet they would look better piled on my bedroom floor." :rolling:

Hi, my name is Ig but people call me the human tripod.

Women love me, but of course you know this already.

Are you from Birmigham? Great, me neither, we have something in common.

I'm so horny I could probably impregnate you from ten feet away.

...gets em' every time

On a RPG online Frosty got someone saying:

Hey, I'm a cavalier, I know how to use my lance well and I know how to ride. So, do you wanna play Horsie?

In RPG I prefer laying hands to the best of my healing capacity ;) Deep, concerned and serious voice: 'I am a paladin. Do you need healing?' :D

My tongue could use some lubrication...mind helping a fella out?

how about, "do you believe in love at first sight, or do i need to walk by again?"

Are you from Jamaica? Because ja make me crazy.

Are you tried? Because you have been running in my mind all night.

"Hey, nice shoes. Wanna f**k?"

Well it worked for my friend's sister once...

"Hey, nice jeans. I bet there are even better legs under them. ;) Why not prove it?"

I usally attire the girls in my place with the excuse of showing them my huge collection of comic books, and then I try to sell them some...
(I know, I konw...I'm a complete arse.... :rolleyes: :D :D )

"Hey, nice shoes. Wanna f**k?"

Well it worked for my friend's sister once... You mean a girl would ever use such a line?! :eek:

"Hey, nice jeans. I bet there are even better legs under them. Why not prove it?" Nice one, truly. How often does it actually work?

My said jumping out from behind a dumpster screaming helped him get a girl once.

Er... Chevalier... Why don't *you* try it? Tell me afterwards how it went...

Virne, we might have different reaction adjustments ;)

Edit: new thought: if you approach her, tell her your own and ask her name and phone number you'll get your date unless she's deeply involved in a serious relationship or you're really repulsive. Just don't make fuss of it, can you imagine a more normal and ordinary thing than your asking her phone number? ;)

[ June 25, 2003, 20:02: Message edited by: chevalier ]

I don't know how things work in your country chev, but here is not so normal to ask telephone numbers to girls you've just met, just because you told her yours. Telephone numbers are quite personal informations, you are supposed to know the girl a bit more before asking them; let's say you could do it at the end of an evening spent together. ;)

@AragornII: generally yes, but did you notice the " ;) " smiley? The 'normal and usual' thing referred to your attitude: if you don't make a big deal of it, but *just* ask her, she will *just* reply. I haven't tried it on strangers but it always works on just met persons, first time seen. You only can't be stiff or embarassed (behave as though you were asking a guy). Then you phone her and get a date, always. If you're afraid of asking her phone number, ask her e-mail. Works on complete strangers after 'hi' or a minute talk.

[ June 25, 2003, 23:52: Message edited by: chevalier ]

So chev, let me get this straight. When you’re hitting on a guy, you get stiff ;) and embarrassed? And you gave me heck because of my thong! :lol:

@chevalier: I used a smilie too!! ;)
Anyway, it's true that someone COULD do as you say, and it would probably work (most of the people would never be so rude to answer you "no, I won't give you my number!" ;) ), but what I mean is that you SHOULD NOT do it because some people around could get annoyed by such attitude (I mean asking phone number after a little chat): I personally think that it's ok, but what about those that stand in front of you? There are so many shy persons...
I hope I was clear enough... ;) :D

I mostly uses "All makt åt tengiiiiiil, min jättepenis!" or sometimes "Akta dig skorpan jag kommer och pussar dig!"

:rolleyes:

So chev, let me get this straight. When you’re hitting on a guy, you get stiff and embarrassed? And you gave me heck because of my thong! Oh damn, I was writing in haste... I meant that if you ask a girl her phone number in the same manner you would ask your friend his, instead of making a big deal of it, blushing, seducing etc, then she will regard and treat you differently. You know, people are serious sometimes. And I'll leave hitting on guys to guys who wear thongs ;)

Aragorn II: There's no excuse for being rude. If someone sucks at savoir-vivre and diplomacy, he shouldn't try such things as chat-up lines anyway ;) And if such skills are high enough one's able to deal with quite a lot of problems that couldn't be approached otherwise.

Gentlemen, both of you, you could stick to the topic and contribute constructively. Sometimes.

Somehow, given the topic, “constructively” is a word that just doesn't seem to fit. Besides, my problem with corny pick-up lines when I am extremely drunk is:
1) I haven’t used any for awhile (I’ve been married for 13 years - and yes, to a woman), and 2) I wouldn’t remember them anyway since I was extremely drunk. So I don't really have anything "constructive" :rolleyes: to contribute.
Plus, I’m in kind of a goofy mood today (as if today is any different from any other day), and what better way to deal with that than to raz a paladin? :p .

I don't need no damn chat up lines! I get the *****es I want anyway... Muhah!!

'Sit down here on my lap and we'll talk about whatever pops up.'

Works, but you better have something completely different and even better to say if she does sit down.

'You don't sweat much for a fat girl.'

Doesn't work, and you better duck. :)

chevalier: you are waaay too confident on your charisma!!! :p :p :p :D :D :D

Back on topic: "You think I like you for your 9 milion dollars? You are wrong: I would have liked you even if you had just 8!"

I love this one, and it works on so many levels. well, one at least.

"I just saw you looking at me from across the room. I'l give you a minute to catch your breath.

- "Can I have your name?"
- "Don't you have a name yourself?"

- "How come you are so beautifull?"
- "That's because I took your share"

- "Can I buy you a drink?"
- "Actually, I rather have the money"

:lol:

well, I'd say go with simple things.
Some guy simply asked me 'can I kiss you?'
and it worked. And if she's not interested she'll at least have a good laugh. Everyone knows that humour is the best way to a woman's heart. :)

humour is the best way to a woman's heartI'd better start getting used to long black robes then :lol: :shake: :lol:

Most of us here are on the good standing then, eh? ;)