Cold spells...... ahhhhh, nice frosty ale...
No wages to pay... magical servants doin' all the nasty work...
Summoning spells when the customers get cranky (hee hee hee)
And all sorts of other tricks....

Yep! Wizards make the best bartenders. :D

Hmmm... that's an interesting point. I always thought the best barkeep would be a 7 and a half foot Barbarian. All he would have to do is glare at troublemakers and say in a very, very soft voice "you what?". And they will slink away.

An enormous axe hung over the fireplace would also help. In case of extreme trouble, a few meaningful glances towards it should be enough...

Of course, a fireball to break up the barroom brawl could be a tad excessive. But I can't fault your logic :)

The worst barman would be a Paladin, no swearing, no fighting or gambling. A tea room within a week.

Oh, I think there'd be fighting in a Paladin owned tavern all right.

"You, sire! Did you just spit upon my floor? How dare you expectorate your tobacco juice upon my establishment! Draw your weapon and I will defend my honor!"

I have to agree with Boon on that one. First off, I seriously doubt a Paladin would even run a barroom. Too much time needs to be spent in pious contemplation and besides for every gold piece a Paladin earns, a part must be tithed to the church unless he's saving to build a temple or stronghold.

If one did run a barroom tho, it would be awfully clean and probably frequented only by those dedicated to the cause of Good :)

Ofcourse it would be interesting. By definition a paladin has to follow the laws of the land and do only good things. Imagine the mischief you could get up to. Hehehehehe....

I suppose a Paladin could run a Inn as some sought of way station for pilgrims. In the best rooms you could have private shrines. Buy hair shirts for the dedicated and provide wine for strictly medicenal or religius reasons. God help any thieves or adventures who caused trouble.

Hhmmmmmmmmm.....
I know every bartender who's worked in the Black Bull (pub near me), and not one of them has been a Wizard, Paladin, Barbarian or whatever

No, you have to go to Crouch End for that kind of thing...

<100 bonus points if you understood that comment>

i dont get it. =)

I would have thought that the traditional fat bold bloke behind the till with a big friendly face and chatty personality would be the best type of bartender...

Now, as you have insulted my profession, i shall have to cast a fools gold spell, give it to a bunch of assasins and get them to hunt you down ;) BWAHAHAH!!!

Then, when the assassins realize that it was fool's gold, they hunt you down and show you who the fool is. hehehe

Aha! But i shall cast an invisibilty spell on myself trap them into a room and fireball it BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! ;)

Ahhh, one of my own favorite tactics. Nothing like a good fireball to remove any unwanted visitors.

Of course Skull trap works nicely as well...

Ahh the skull trap. Kind of like a poor man's fireball.

That's an interesting perspective; I've always wondered why people prefer the Fireball over the Skull Trap. They both do the same amount of damage, but there is no saving throw with the Skull Trap, it's area of effect is larger, and it's more versatile since it's a trap and will hang around until someone comes close...

I guess fireball is the funniest way to kill someone with an area of affect method of attack...Hmm...howabout casting a minor globe of invunerbility and then casting stinking cloud followd up with a few melfs acid arrows and to follow up with an invisibilty spell to get away. From the distance and finish the deed with a fireball...that ought to kill em good!