Munchkin's Paradise: I get a lot of new D&D players asking, "What's a munchkin?" Rapmaster Brian 'Cevalic' Ostermeyer answers this question quite deftly ... in song:

Munchkin Paradise
(Sung to Gangsta's Paradise by Coolio, new words by Brian 'Cevalic' Ostermeyer)

As I walk through the valley filled with vampric dragons
I take a look at my inventory and pull out plus ten flagons
Cause I've been hacking and slaying so long
Even my DM forgets that I learned the rules wrong.
But I ain't never got an item that was too out of line.
My character's treated like a king, a PC ahead of his time.
Gods be watchin what they sayin when they hear that I'm playin.
I really hate to brag but I killed Tiamat --
I did it bare handed cause she made me mad, fool.
I'm the kinda PC every gamer wanna be like,
On my throne in the night
A king with godly might.

Chorus:
We've been spending most our time
Gaming in a munchkin paradise.
Rolled for godhood once or twice,
Gaming in a muncking paradise.
We've been spending most our time
Gaming in a munchkin paradise.
Rolled for godhood once or twice,
Gaming in a munchkin paradise.

Forget the situation, DM got me facin --
I can't play when magic lacks, I was raised on artifacts.
So I gotta find a DM down with me;
I let my brother DM even though he's three.
I'm above the average gamer with gold on my mind.
Got a crossbow in my hand, slaying bolts plus nine.
I'm a pumped up power gamer, just a little tweaked
And my followers are down, even if they're freaks, fool.
Death ain't never gonna touch my PC --
Soon I'll kill Vecna, then you'll all see.
I'm a demi-god now, but will I live to be a diety?
The way things is goin it's for sure.

Tell me why are you - so mad at me?
Cause my guy's a god? - you hate me?

Chorus

Gold and the magic, magic and the gold,
Pile after pile, load after load.
Everybody's bowing, but none of them ain't seein
My ultra master plan, to destory all the heathens.
They say I got to quit, but nobody's gonna change me.
If they can't play with power, how can they game with me?
I guess they can't, I guess they won't,
I guess they leave; that's why I know my game is just solo...

Chorus

Ripped from Eric Noah's site. -Ed.

LOL

HAH! taluntain, have you ever heard amish paradise, by weird al?

How about "Amnish Paradise"?

Yea, I've heard all of Weird Al's... Funny as hell.

opening line of amish paradise:

as i walk through the valley where i harvest my grain i take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain, but that's just perfect for an amish like me you know i shun fancy things like electricity

at four thirty in the mornin' i'm milkin' cows. Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob ploughs. And I've been milkin' and ploughin' so long that even Ezekial(sp?) thinks that my mind is gone. I'm a man of the land I'm into discipline. Got a bible in my hand and a beard on my chin. And if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine, then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699.
CHORUS
This may be a bit inaccurate, since I', doing it from memory...

[This message has been edited by Sol'Kanar (edited April 05, 2001).]

Good old Wierd Al. I ahev't really heard him in a while. One of the last songs I heard from him was Weenie in a Bottle.