View Full Version : What is the funniest thing you've encountered?
Fri, 6th Sep '02, 12:51am
I've only recently finished the prologue to the game. So far I've encountered a few of the IE trademark humor.
With the drow male voice, if you repeatedly select the character, eventually he'll say "Make sure to keep me out of the sun. This book says I'll lose my abilities within 1d6 days, whatever that means." One of the female voices also has a funny line when you do the same thing "You call this roleplaying." In the Targos Fort, one of the NPCs makes reference to "FedEx Quests".
Have you seen anything else funny?
Fri, 6th Sep '02, 5:10am
I thought finding the Engineering Book in Dragon's Eye was kinda funny.
Fri, 6th Sep '02, 5:52am
Wait a minute.
Why is finding the engineering manual in Dragon's Eye funny?
Fri, 6th Sep '02, 8:08am
When you keep clicking on a char with the female sorcerers sound, she'll say: :: Fallout 3, fallout 3, fallout 3 ::
Now what does THAT mean? ;)
Fri, 6th Sep '02, 12:08pm
Geez, I found so many funny things in Prologue alone when I was playing the beta... Like the trainer and his pupils who you can instruct in Attack of Opportunity... And talking to the mercenaries with a dead cat in your inventory... Or the catapult thing...
Fri, 6th Sep '02, 8:17pm
When I saw the Engineering manual, I busted out laughing...
Guess it's just my weird sense of humor
Fri, 6th Sep '02, 9:37pm
I found a moment in Chapter 3 rather amusing, when you meet a team of mercenaries/mariners outside a mysterious cave.
What follows I found rather funny.
Sat, 7th Sep '02, 4:56pm
I found the cat thing funny. :D But what with that sword you can buy at the tradepost in targos, "Heart of (whoever is talking to her)."
Pretty strange eh? :confused:
Sun, 8th Sep '02, 3:49pm
If you buy that sword with one character, then equip it on another, the name will actually change.
What about those soldiers in the prologue that you get to show up by breaking the keg and instructing them in how to use a spear? Then, after you break the keg, they get some funny dialogue.
Mon, 9th Sep '02, 6:30am
I found falling asleep while watching the play in the magma room pretty cute.
Mon, 9th Sep '02, 2:16pm
This is a spoiler...
In the prologue, If you talk to (I believe his name is) Viril, the person that is in a stupor in a bed near the upper left, in the Hospital tent in town, with your thief, it gives you the option of: "You say you want me to search you and take your stuff. OK, if you want me to.. This is kinda of a spoiler, because after pickpocketing him a few times you'll get a note addressed to you.
Mon, 9th Sep '02, 5:21pm
I still like the male barbarian's voice. Something hysterical about him getting hit for 30 or 40 by a dragon and saying over and over, "bee-stings!"
Tue, 10th Sep '02, 2:00am
Funniest thing is the dialogue between you and the Luskan Hosttower mage with his bears just before entering the Black Raven Monastery area.
"Yes...well, "Battle-Cats" weren't scary enough."
"They "BEAR" collars? *snicker*"
"Well of co-, ah yes, very amusing."
Or some such.
Wed, 11th Sep '02, 5:09am
enginnering manual is a leftover from Icewind 1 (i believe) where you had to find it to repair a bridge to then go and smite the foul frost giants.
secondly, the fallout three thing is a reference to the fact that the nice folks who made fallout 1 + 2, although i don't hold them responsible for that abomination; fallout tactics, are still recieving petitions and letters, i believe by the hundreds, although i might, just a little, be off on actual numbers, requesting fallout 3, so IMHO the whole fallout 3 voice over thing was a gentle poke at the gamers that they hear the requests...sadly my favorite voice over humor moment came on warcraft3, there was a charactor who repeated randal from clerks immortal line "i like crowds but i hate people its ironic" (or something to that effect, its late and my memory isnt that sharp right now, please forgive)
the one piece of humor i kinda was hopin would make it back was at least one reference to either boo, the minutare giant space hamster or the mythical golden pantaloons armor set...oh, well, guess if i really wanted to see, or hear those references i could just go and play those games over again. :D
[ September 11, 2002, 05:10: Message edited by: FistindantilusGamgee ]
Wed, 11th Sep '02, 11:52pm
Apart from the repeat clicking characters loadsa times (all of whom have something amusing to say), I found I laughed out loud after a battle. After a couple of reloads in chapter 5, different tactics, getting slaughtered, my wizard chalked up, swaggering, cast "Disintegrate", and *poof*, no more bad guy! :D Why me did not think of this before?
And the voice things...female monk on reeat clicks says "I know many...tantric styles" and "Once you've had tantric, you never go back". Hehe. And the funny male fighter that says "I'm not going to say anything different from the last 20 TIMES you clicked me!".
Thu, 12th Sep '02, 12:16am
the prologue was funny... i agree :D
there was the part in chap. 3 where a witch kidnapped the children.. some of their conversations were funny :D
[ September 12, 2002, 00:19: Message edited by: crashtec ]
Sun, 15th Sep '02, 4:02am
you know about the sword heart of " " I equipped it on another characheter and I dont believe it's changed. Are you sure it changes to whoever is using it?
Sun, 15th Sep '02, 11:10am
It doesn't change. It will always bear the name of the character that was leading the party when you bought it. (That is, the character that talked to the shopkeeper.)
Mon, 16th Sep '02, 12:49am
I have to disagree with that. I bought the sword with my mage and then equipped it on my ranger. It's called "Heart of Anastacia" now. She's my ranger.
Mon, 16th Sep '02, 6:16am
about the sword with the name of the buyer, well the funny thing is that i actually named one of my first IWD2 characters "Heart of the Rose". so i was really surprise to see a sword named "Heart of Heart of the Rose".
Mon, 30th Sep '02, 7:20pm
I had no expectations of the story of the game. Ironic more than funny. I made my female halfling rogue and named her Belladonna after Bilbo Baggins' Grandmother on the Took side...
When Oswald asked for some Belladonna for his airship, I thought that she should walk up to him and say, "Well... you could always have me..."
The strangest thing I saw was in the Prologue. When you pickpocket the Diviner in Targos "Hospital" you get a note from him that predicts you pickpocketing him and he even asks for your help explaining exactly how to help him even with further pickpocketing! LOL
[ October 02, 2002, 05:06: Message edited by: Khazraj ]
Wed, 9th Oct '02, 3:49am
I bought the sword with my sorcerer, because he has the highet charisma, and now it looks really funky when I equiped it on my ranger and it says "Heart of Hennet" even though my rangers name is Montolio. I am kinda unhappy about that and that. Also something funny is the fight with Yquog (I think thats how you spell it). He kicks like the monks do. I don't think they kick in this game ut in others they do. But its way exaggerated. Hes kicking like at your head its looks funny.
Wed, 9th Oct '02, 11:38am
Along the lines on the BG2 forum where you have funny dialog responses. When talking to Puddy (I personally found this name funny because in my wife's language Saraiki it means "farty") Talltale he says,
You... you're not an illusion? You won't turn into some twisted combination of a spider, lemure, and octopus and try - *gulp* - try to consume me?
You can say,
Yes, I am an illusion. I just wanted to give you a glimmer of hope. Farewell.
When you use the Horn of Valhalla, the summoned beserkers have some crazy lines. One says
"Look at me, I'm a crazy frothing beserker!"
In the Prologue when you meet Caulder to fix the catapult (makes me wonder if there is somebody with this name working at BIS...) and when he takes the hammer off you to hit the nails he screams,
"Damnable nails, make a fool of me, will you?! I'll smash you into the hells! Take this! And this! Not so smart *now*, are you? Now stay in! *Stay* in!"
and you can reply
By the gods! Stop, man, stop! You're killing them!
Whoa. *Someone's* obviously married. ROFL :D
I really related to that last one. Sometimes my wife.....
Wed, 9th Oct '02, 12:01pm
Many things are quite funny...
When you break the Keg in the prologue:
"Why did ye broke it?"
And you can say:
"Er, I thought it was a goblin."
And in the Palisade, if you click on the cauldron it says "This cauldron looks like it's been tortured for infomation."
And the Keg you can shoot as a contest is called "Smug-looking barrel".
Thu, 10th Oct '02, 9:46pm
The funniest thing ive seen so far is the air boat. The boat in Targos with the baloon on top of it. I don't even know why its funny.
I also though the Heart of " " sword was pretty funny.
When do sorcerors get to choose their spells? every level?
Thu, 10th Oct '02, 10:19pm
In the Severed Hand, my sorceress (who is my main talker with her high charisma) got some seriously funny, and very sarcastic, dialogue options with both the Minister of Foreign Affairs and the Librarian. At one point, the minister said, “Sarcasm does not become you.”
Also, one of the prisoners in the dungeon name Carl says, “I’m a rock” whenever you speak to him. Not really funny, but darn odd. The gnome that shares the cell with Carl is called Puddy, and I got some funny dialogue options from him as well since he thinks you are illusions sent to torture him… Hopefully someone will post some of the dialogue options from the Severed Hand because they are some of the most unusual in the game.
It is also kind of funny (in a morbid sense) when you poison the guards on the 4th floor and they all die right in front of the cook and she just stands there...
Another funny bit of dialogue came with the mind flayers in the underdark when you can say, "Cease your boasting thoughts and get out of our way, illithid, or I'll be wearing your rubbery purple head as boot." While I decided not to fashion footwear out of them, they sure ran away quickly when I gave them the chance to flee.
[ October 10, 2002, 22:33: Message edited by: Grey Ghost ]
Sat, 12th Oct '02, 6:26pm
Randal's line in Clerks when he's trying to convince Dante to let him go to the open casket ceremony with him is, I believe:
Dante: But you hate people.
Randal: I know but I love gatherings, isn't it ironic?
Sat, 12th Oct '02, 8:37pm
The funniest thing was definately the catapult repairing in prologue. Another funny thing was the "flame-dance-show" thingy in the "time-loop" room :) . Oswald is funny too especialy after crashing when you try to wake him up. IWD II turned out to be a very fun and funny game indeed :D
Sun, 13th Oct '02, 12:39am
In the Prologue, at the Salty Dog tavern, I fought those Iron Collar mercenaries. The barbarian(orc) merchant was like cheering us to fight.
I threw a potion which makes a weak fireball and it accidentally hit the merchant. Suddenly he was berserk.
Sun, 13th Oct '02, 3:06pm
I liked the line you get with the quest reward after you defeat the troll at the village in ch. 1 :)
Sun, 13th Oct '02, 3:52pm
Remembered one more: it's after clearing the goblin fortress, after you talk to Ulbrec and then go to shop :) there is an option to say: next time Ulbrec will send me to fight white dragons with my teeth (or something like that) then the merchant replies: i wonder if Ulbrec gives his wife any impossible missions :D
Wed, 30th Oct '02, 10:23am
I was ROTFLMAO when my paladin entered the room where this mage creates abberations with the vidiscamera (or whatever it's named) and introduced himself like that:
"Good day my fair lady, I am Sir Arthur Vigilant, Paladin of Helm, the watchful. I'm an agent of Ten towns and I'm fighting the legion of the chimera. I have heread that there is something called Vidiscamera here and I'm here to destroy it. You don't have any idea where I could find it?" Unnecesary to mention that hell broke loose immediately :D
Wed, 30th Oct '02, 12:14pm
Ragusa, you're right, it's funny because it is so improbable that a paladin would say this in such a situation. It would be even more hilarious if you could hear it.
PS, are you using the English version? Do you know how different the Deutsch version is?
Wed, 30th Oct '02, 1:00pm
I'm using the english version - the german one is unlikely to be released before christmas anyway - and usually the german dialogues are less funny than the original ones. Add the silly german soundsets and translation errors and you see why I prefer CRPGs in their original language.
Unfortunalety I was too busy killing monsters to take a screenshot from that dialogue :cry: ;)
Wed, 30th Oct '02, 11:39pm
My cleric's dialogue string end's with "WASSUP?!"
Thu, 31st Oct '02, 7:39am
Ragusa, do you mean that the drow soundset actually speaks Deutsch?
I'd be curious to see it, not that I know Deutsch, I'm just interested. Is this "the reason" why the European release date is late?
Thu, 31st Oct '02, 10:26am
Well, the german release at least - however, the drow soundset isn't "drow" completely and has some english lines as well - I guess they'll be translated too. I wouldn't blame the german release for the delays - since the german version will probably even later than the english one (it has been so with IWD/ BG-2 SoA & ToB and NWN). I think it's just an utterly incompetent european distributor.
Thu, 31st Oct '02, 3:47pm
I like to play with evil parties because you can always give the incredibly rude answers, wich are most of the times funny.
I also liked the part where you talk to three mercenaries in the palisade and you're carrying a dead cat, the guy goes like "why are you carrying that around?", and you can answer somthing like "Where I come from it's said to be good luck!", pretty funny.
Tue, 5th Nov '02, 8:26pm
After you get back to town from the Shaengard bridge in Chapter One, go find Swift Thomas and talk to him about Adventuring and Wild Boars.
" ... of course we killed them, we're Adventurers. You never know, they might have swallowed a few pieces of gold or a magic scroll."
-- Very funy.
Wed, 6th Nov '02, 5:18am
I thought the smug looking barrel in the prologue was quite funny. Especially when you wipe the smile off its face and take the longbow off that mercenary.
"it was my grandfathers" he moans.
Ha, I love being evil.
Wed, 6th Nov '02, 4:07pm
i was looking at some screenshots and found one of malavon DESPANA.
Despana is the house in Ust Natha that stole the slver dragons eggs.
Malavon and Phaere are related, cute huh? :)
Wed, 6th Nov '02, 4:28pm
I just started a new game with an evil party and while most of the dialogue options are the same I have (playing evil) found some that were funny.
For example, if you badger Ennelia (the female ranger outside the horde fortress) about her and Braston's experiences outside the fortress and then reply that she is "pathetic" she will tell you something like:
"I don't like you, but I am willing to help you."
To which you can reply, "What? Like you helped your boyfriend?"
This apparently ticks her off since she attacks you after that... Oh well, my rogue introduced her to Letto's Scar and she gavee up a longsword +1 and some studded leather +1. Maybe I'll get some good dialogues with Braston as well and he will meet his maker before leaving the fortress.
Wed, 6th Nov '02, 10:10pm
In Chapter 5, Dragon's Eye level 4, the Troll tells you:
"Go impale yourself, dung-sniffer".
Fri, 8th Nov '02, 7:13pm
By far, the most ridiculous thing I have found is a sword found in the Mudmaster Dale KeeperII cheat program. It is called "Armageddon's Blade 2002" Why is it ridiculous?? It makes Heart of Fury Mode EASY. It is a +5 longsword, does 2d20 fire damage and then 20d20 slashing damage, with a good critical threat range. I wasn't sure exactly what it was when I equipped it, and I ended up giving my guy ONE IN EACH HAND. Talk about carnage!! :D
Fri, 8th Nov '02, 8:17pm
Upidstay, check out the Armageddon's chainmail they have as well. Both items are also in the DaleKeeper2 beta version...
Another interesting thing, not really funny-well some of it is, is the dialogue options different clerics receive. For example in the Prologue inside the palisade you can speak to 2 different groups of fighters to bless or inspire them. Typically my paladin or cleric of Lathander would speak and the options were so so. My new party lead by a Banite got some serious different options. Basically, my guy said you may be afraid of fighting goblins, but you better be more afraid of what Bane will do to you if you don't fight. How inspirational...
Another good set of dialogue came when speaking to the Aurilites in Andora. I basically told them that Auril was a weak goddess and they were weak for worshipping her. If they wanted to see true power, I would be glad to demonstrate by tearing their village apart and raising all their corpses to serve Bane's will! Let me tell you, that's a great way to make friends.
I wonder (anyone pipe up if you know) what types of dialogue options a Banite priest might get when speaking to priests of Bane or Xvim???
[ November 08, 2002, 20:19: Message edited by: Grey Ghost ]
Tue, 12th Nov '02, 5:55am
I found the "I'm a rock" guy in the Severed Hand hilarious. Even more so when I asked Puddy about him...PC-"What's up with your cellmate?" (Or some such) and Puddy says "He's a rock." It's very funny at 12:30 am.
Tue, 12th Nov '02, 10:54am
The one got me ROFLAL was the HOW sorceress 12th click "Does this robe make me look fat?"
Fri, 15th Nov '02, 6:53am
Remember the doppleganger in the Temple Pavillion, that is asking for his love called Raina?
Well, I made a character called Raina and had her speak to the doppleganger. It says Raina is that you?
I say, Yes it is I Raina. And I'm not even lying!
Then the doppleganger says thanks for humouring me.
I killed the bastard for calling me a liar.
I was sort of hoping that it would do to me something like in BG2 when you have a male elf called Drizzt and he attacks you for stealing his name...
Sun, 17th Nov '02, 12:34pm
I like when you click on those groups of kegs, and it says "These kegs have obviously been roped off to stop them from attacking you- They look at you threateningly" (or something like that) :lol:
Mon, 18th Nov '02, 8:53pm
When my sorceress with a Charisma in the 20's and lots of dialog skills reported sucess to Tavo the Huntsmaster in the Wandering Villiage, he complemented her on her bravery and skill, and a dialogue option came up for her:
"You forgot to mention incredibly beautiful!"
Mon, 18th Nov '02, 9:44pm
I like my Paladin of Mystra's new strong dude - her own Golem :D I always wanted something like that in BG-2 :shake:
"RETURN TO MASTER!", "I NEED MAINTENANCE!"
Tue, 19th Nov '02, 4:45am
:) Yeah, I loved that golem too! When my sorcerer (his master) got hurt he shouted:
"MASTER NEED MAINTENANCE!!"
Took great care of him as well! The thing was getting hurt quicker than any in my party! LOL And no cleric healing spell could heal him (didn't try Heal cause I didn't have it memorized), but I discovered only my Paladin could heal him.
Anyway, other funnies:
The Barbarian says, after you click on him several times:
"I can make DUNG bigger than you!" :D
One last one:
Remember that Aasimar rogue, Nheero's partner who was supposed to find the Mandrake Root, but dies in that passage with the huge rolling rock (ball) ŕ la Indiana Jones? He takes you to see where the root is, then back to the passage where he tells you how he died:
"Here I stop... Ball no stop..."
[ November 19, 2002, 05:07: Message edited by: Quint ]
Tue, 19th Nov '02, 11:48am
In the prologue near where the people are that talk about the dead cat in your inventory there is a fire they are huddled round - click on the fire and you get "You know, you haven't seen many dogs around town" :eek:
Sun, 19th Jan '03, 4:13am
When in the Severed Hand, in the cleric's tower you will find the Xvimians having their "church" service. One of the congregation, Jezebel Quice by name, when spoken to with a female character says this,
"Well, now someone's a bit eager for my services. I must tell ye up front that I normally charge double for girls, but for you I'd make an exception. Catch me after the services and we'll see what we can work out."
Sun, 19th Jan '03, 11:20am
Books that give you experience(in Monastery) is really funny.But the dead cat is superb." I heard carrying a dead cat in north brings luck"
Sun, 19th Jan '03, 1:16pm
I found the guardsmen in targos really funny after you break their barrel.
"Should we like, attack the air now?" :D
Sun, 19th Jan '03, 2:06pm
When you talk to the targos shopkeeper after the fortress, or maybe just the palisade, and follow through the whatever will he have me do next dialogue route you can say something like "Whatever next? Going to the abyss with nothing but a loincloth and a knife?" a nice PST reference.
Anakha the Almighty
Mon, 20th Jan '03, 9:01am
One of them was in Kuldahar while defending the city with Iselore. After defeating the fourth wave, I was waiting for the fifth party of monsters. The first one to see them was my dwarf barbarian and he said: "No, not again! I am bored." :eek: :shake:
Mon, 20th Jan '03, 9:51am
if you let your party just stand around and do nothing, you get some pretty funny remarks from the party members.
Mon, 20th Jan '03, 8:47pm
another warcraft reference: some of the orc slaves in the duergar fort will occaisionally say "Zug Zug"
also while talking to the mercenaries about the cat and the fed-ex missions you can remark something to the effect of "If i wanted 5 gold i'd pull it out of my butt." The guy replies, "... Well, i'll be sure not to borrow money from you."
Mon, 20th Jan '03, 9:35pm
The Abominable Snowman. :D
Wed, 22nd Jan '03, 6:28pm
"These Iron Rations are capable of healing 3 hitpoints for the user. Combined with 50' of rope and a 10' pole, they make for a wicked old-school adventurer's pack."
Anakha the Almighty
Thu, 23rd Jan '03, 9:16am
In Ice Temple, I shoot west with prism device and broke it down. I get my wizard to fix it.
A message like this appeared:
"If you think you can fix this device with such low INT, you are really dumb."
"What!? But I have 23 INT" I thought. Then I realized that it was not my wizard trying to fix but my barbarian. :)
Fri, 27th Jun '03, 11:34am
Stomping around the underdark with the Golem, I got ready for a big fight and casted invisibility circle... The Golem suddenly starts running around going, "I CANNOT FIND THE MASTER!" :lol:
Fri, 27th Jun '03, 2:41pm
In the prologue, while talking to Phaen, if your character has a high charisma you can trick Phaen into telling the name of his master. Upon doing that you will get a message something like this,
"You have tricked Phaen into telling the name of his master - what an idiot. The party has received experience"
Fri, 27th Jun '03, 7:15pm
when i click on my male fighter and click somewhere to move him he sais:´´i shall not fail´´ nad then i pick pocket and a message comes: pick pocket failed :)
Fri, 27th Jun '03, 7:18pm
All posted that I came across I found funny. Some more so then others. To add: 1) I get a kick out of my half-Orc tank (very strong but below average IQ) carrying on very intelligent conversations. 2) I have a female halfling rogue with, I believe, FRV I. She delights so much I took her name when I registered for the forum. IWDII is fun because you can get different dialogue options with different characters or as with my half-orc dialogue that doesn't fit the character. I miss Boo too.
Tue, 1st Jul '03, 10:26pm
Male Fighter 5 voice set is great, because the comments are just so good. "I'm a busy man. I got places to go, monsters to kill!" Excellent adventurer :thumb:
Another quite funny thing is that Yago's Book of Curses is in a shelf in Dragon's Eye (remember the quest in Baldur's Gate 1?)
Tue, 1st Jul '03, 10:37pm
Harkle, how about another comment by that voiceset?
"Nah, I don't thinkso. Just kidding, I'll do it."
Tue, 1st Jul '03, 10:53pm
One of the things I found funny was having my Drow Dreadmaster of Bane say something along the lines of "Speaking to you sickins me, dathiar" to the lords wife in Targos. I know I didn't spell that right, I don't spell very well in Drow.
Wed, 2nd Jul '03, 7:36am
After killing the merchants near underdark I still get their warnings appear in the air, like 'Stay away from our merchandise or be dead' or something like that. I think it's kind of funny although it surely is a bug.
Sat, 5th Jul '03, 4:29am
Male Fighter 5 after clicking him multiple times his 4 comments are "I understood you the first 20 times you selected me."
"Hey, there's nothing else for you to here! Just pick someone else. Sheesh."
"What, do you think I'm *lying?* Moce on, nothing to hear here!"
Female Rouge 2 says- "Is this what you'd call "role-playing?"
"So I kicked him in the head until he was dead...I can't believe I just said that."
Thats a line from the Bandits in Baldur's Gate I. All this I have gotten exactly correct from the game becuz I was bored, not likely there we're mistakes because I wrote it down from the game and then typed it, see how bored I am? .......
Sat, 5th Jul '03, 8:56am
If you click on your sorcerer heaps of times, he may say, "dont tell a soul, but i was abducted as an infant and raised by dragons"
"sssh, if you keep making noise they'll see you and.. Uh, oh, yes." as though he was seen.
and i also found in the prologue in the Salty Dog Tavern, the innkeep says, "A little spit on these glasses will give them some shine."
and also in the tavern, (i have 2 more) just listening to the convo between the mercenarys is quite funny. And when you start fighting them, the merchant there says, "Go on, hit him!"
Wed, 9th Jul '03, 10:14am
Did anyone notice that the duergar in the underdark are speaking phonetic russian? its been a long time since i studied any russian, but i definitely recognise a few phrases!
well, I found it funny :)
Wed, 9th Jul '03, 7:07pm
What do they say?
Yeah and the wandering village is finnish - really! All the names Jari, Venla, Carita, Tahvo etc. are finnish names! And they pronounce a little bit like finnish people talk english. That one REALLY surprised me, maybe there is Fin in the desing team...maybe I should check it out...