View Full Version : An Open Letter to All "Goodbye-ers"


Death Rabbit
Wed, 17th Mar '04, 11:08pm
DISCLAIMER: Any name calling in this thread is not directed at anyone, is highly sarcastic, and meant to illustrate a point. Grain of salt highly recommended.

A humble, not-so-subtle request to all who announce here that they're leaving SP forever: Stop being such pussies. Seriously. I say this because I care.

Try and flash back to high school for a second. For the sake of this little analogy, imagine your parents shipped you off to an international boarding school. Imagine a group of friends and peers to which you belong. You all come from varied backgrounds and families, yet share several key interests. Interests that allowed you all to meet and become friends. Everyone in your circle has their own unique personality and point of view, despite your similar interests. But it's these differences that makes for an interesting, intelligent group of peers; one through which all involved learn and grow from each other, as well as enjoy the company. With me so far?

One member of your peer group (let's just call him Dick - and I'm referring to no one in particular here)...Dick has recently argued publicly with several other people at your school, even within your own peer group. A few scraps and scuffles here and there. No one is an enemy, they just can't see eye to eye on several issues, occasionally go overboard, and have taken things personally. With such a diverse group, such personality clashes are inevitable. On top of this, Dick is frustrated because it seems to him that the faculty tolerate it when others step out of line in this way, even though the faculty can't be everywhere at once to break up every little scuffle. Dick's frustration reaches its breaking point.

But rather than avoid those he doesn't get along with, discuss how he feels with his friends, or allow himself some time to cool off, he decides it's best if he just drops out of school altogether. Pins a note to the school's bulletin board and walks on out, never to return. Suddenly, all of the friendships he's made - which far outnumber the enemies - or the good times he's had, aren't worth the percieved abuse or injustice he's feeling. So in an attempt to sever bad social relationships, he shuts the good ones out as well. He tells you and a few other friends he'll answer the phone if you call, but won't be back to hang out ever again.

Now, as Dick's friend, who enjoys Dick's company and values his presence in your group, do you have more or less respect for him for doing what he's done? As a friend of Dick's myself, I say much, much less. But that's me.

Since I've been here on SP (exactly 1 year, actually) I've seen people come and go. I've seen several recently leave out of frustration, usually frustration with one or two key people. They leave immediately after a bad encounter on the boards, that being their "last straw," so to speak. When I see someone I like (which is pretty much everybody, really) leave our entire community behind just because of a few incidents or frustrating people, it really annoys me. It says to me that myself and everyone else you don't have a problem with here isn't worth sticking around for.

To me, it's the equivilant of a kid on the playground saying "we played rough and you knocked me down and I skinned my knee. So I'm taking my ball and going home!" Don't be that kid. That kid was the weenie nobody liked. He probably had a bike with a banana seat, too. ;)

The bottom line is, we all enjoy SP. It's not perfect, but I double-dog dare you to find a board on the net that is. The mods do their best to make SP a shining example for what a good message board should be. Spend a little time on a board that consists of nothing but "u r stoopid cuz u no nuthin LOL!!! 1337 ha hahaha" and you'll really appreciate the gem that is SP. But more than that, the people here are why I keep coming back almost daily. Everyone here kicks ass, and all for different reasons. If you don't like one or two people here - CONGRATULATIONS! You're normal. Nobody gets along with everybody. But don't sh*t on everyone else because somebody else played too rough and made you skin your knee. The rest of us still like you and like seeing you around.

In closing, I just want to ask all who consider leaving SP to do just that - leave. For a week or two. Just take a vacation. Don't announce it, just go away. Cool down, come back and see us again. Or try talking to whomever you have a problem with. I guarantee you'll have infinitely more respect for one another after doing so. I also understand that life and other obligations happen. But you can still pop in every once in a while and say hi.

Don't be a Dick.


Thank you. /steps off soapbox.

edit - Jumpin Jesus! Sorry for the novel, guys. :o

[ March 18, 2004, 16:49: Message edited by: Death Rabbit ]

Harbourboy
Wed, 17th Mar '04, 11:29pm
Cool. Thanks for saying that I 'kick ass'! :thumb:

chevalier
Wed, 17th Mar '04, 11:32pm
Spam... err... wisdom speaks through this man! :shake:

teekc
Wed, 17th Mar '04, 11:36pm
Some people cannot just leave. When you are a slave of fame aka famous people, you have the responsibility for those who know you by your fame. Your sudden poof will stir speculations. Remember the time when Extremist poof on us? When you leave, you tell your friends you are leaving. Had Arabwel and Shura chosen to leave quietly, wouldn't there be such thread that gossip their disappearance?

Of course, a goodbye thread comes with an explanation and this explanation promotes more discussion. If they had no love for this board at you, will you think they will just leave without an explanation?

Sarevok•
Wed, 17th Mar '04, 11:57pm
[ Issue with how the Boards are moderated deleted. Warning pending. ] - Beren

[ March 18, 2004, 02:01: Message edited by: Beren ]

Splunge
Thu, 18th Mar '04, 12:05am
@teekc - I think you're missing D.R.'s point. He's suggesting a cool-down period before actually making a decision (and possible announcement) to leave.

[ Response to Sarevok's post deleted. Splunge, nothing against you, just trying to keep this thread focused. ] - Beren

@ DR - good post :thumb:

[ March 18, 2004, 02:03: Message edited by: Beren ]

Sarevok•
Thu, 18th Mar '04, 12:09am
Well if that is so then my mistake and then in that case I wonder how I have managed to avoid getting one so far. ;)

Wildfire
Thu, 18th Mar '04, 12:23am
The saddest thing about this post is that whilst it contains an idea of considerable merit, you have to go and pretty much ruin your point by starting insulting people and calling them 'pussies' and 'dicks'. If you start off in the very first sentence of your post insulting someone, do you really think they're going to be more or less inclined to read your post with an open mind? I'll give you a hint. It's the latter.

Sarevok•
Thu, 18th Mar '04, 12:30am
Quite right but maybe the pussie and dick part was not meant to be taken seriously.

Scythesong Immortal
Thu, 18th Mar '04, 3:13am
This is what happens when people start getting all too acquainted with something, sadly.

Nobody gets along with everybody. But don't sh*t on everyone else because somebody else played too rough and made you skin your knee. The rest of us still like you and like seeing you around.
Put yourself in the same position, and your whim at the moment will tell you otherwise. This applies for most average persons who actually has his/her own ideals to turn to...

The saddest thing about this is the regret that gets slaughtered by everyone's inherent pride once the wrong decision had been made.

Don't take my post seriously, by the way. I haven't slept for the last 20 hours.

Oaz
Thu, 18th Mar '04, 3:33am
I think someone (probably Taluntain) said it best that those who say they're going to leave don't really leave, and those who don't say anything about it eventually leave. Applies to me too.

Dendri
Thu, 18th Mar '04, 1:25pm
*laughs*

*calms down*

*laughs some more*

*gives Death Rabbit :thumb: *


Once again I see whats special about SP.

Jack Funk
Thu, 18th Mar '04, 2:54pm
@Edit

We straightened this out in PM. Rock on DR.

[ March 18, 2004, 22:47: Message edited by: Jack Funk ]

Death Rabbit
Thu, 18th Mar '04, 4:35pm
@ Wildfire, Jack, Laches, Beren, etc.

To those who took my rant the wrong way - sorry. It wasn't meant to insult people. It's difficult to type with my foot in my mouth, but I'll try.

For the record - my whole "pussie and dick" thing was meant to add a humorous spin to my rant, but also to illustrate the point that names like that are just names and shouldn't be taken seriously. Plus they're just fun words to say. Wee. But seriously - I don't think any of you are pussies any more than your buddy who jokingly calls you a "fag" or a "douchebag" would.

If I failed miserably at my attempt to say "lighten up - we're all friends here at SP who can lean on each other," then I sincerely apologize. This may be yet another example of how sarcasm is difficult to translate over the internet. I chose the words I did so it wouldn't come off as being preachy and to keep my message serious yet light-hearted. But my point was apparantly lost in translation.

edit - As it turns out, it seems the very people I was trying to appeal to are now more inclined to leave than ever.


Again - sorry. Please understand my intentions were for the best. I'll shut up now, and possibly take my own advice and duck out of SP for a while.

Register
Thu, 18th Mar '04, 4:53pm
Again - sorry. Please understand my intentions were for the best. I'll shut up now, and possibly take my own advice and duck out of SP for a while.HA!
*Dances in circles while chanting "DR is Dick!! Dr is Dick!!"*

:hahaerr:


Now, as one that have previously written a goodbye letter and then returned(although mine was mostly because problems at home, but also because of some people's reaction against me, especially Tal's a while back) I must say that even though we say that we keep the AoDA differencies in AoDA, you must remember, you are only human, and therefore you will show them in other forums as well, how much you even deny it.

With such thoughts against some at the time I had very much problems with talking to them or even think of and/or enter BoM at all without thinking bad of them and trashing them in my mind.

Now, you may call me immature because of this, and please do so, because I don't care, actually. I have been called this by so many people that I've realized that it is almost exclusively the most immature ones that call me immature.

Now, I am sliding veeeeeeery much of topic so I will STFU now.

Dendri
Thu, 18th Mar '04, 5:01pm
*casts powerword: silence on velve* :p

Why are things so tense here recently?
Everyone who has read more than three of Death Rabbits posts in the past knows *exactly* how that was supposed to be taken. Certainly not as an insult or whatnot. :rolleyes:

Register
Thu, 18th Mar '04, 5:08pm
Yeah, I did not take it as an insult, I just added my point of view.

Dendri
Thu, 18th Mar '04, 5:17pm
I know. Only the powerword was directed at you and only at your dancing and chanting. ;) :D

With the rest I just wanted to say that things get uncomfortable here. For no good reason.

Oh, I am out of this mess.

Barmy Army
Thu, 18th Mar '04, 7:52pm
can't you find anything better to chat about lads? Women, beer and football come to mind :p :cool:

Splunge
Thu, 18th Mar '04, 8:09pm
Just going on record to agree with Dendri:
Everyone who has read more than three of Death Rabbits posts in the past knows *exactly* how that was supposed to be taken. Certainly not as an insult or whatnot. But D.R. may also be correct when he said:
This may be yet another example of how sarcasm is difficult to translate over the internet So, D.R., quit being such a jerk. :p

(For interpretation of that last comment, see the quote above it. :D )

Jaguar
Thu, 18th Mar '04, 9:52pm
I kind of like it here and really don't see what all the fuss is about.

Seriously folks, like DR said, we all share some common interests. Lets just focus on those, and let our differences add variety.

Zephyr Angel
Sat, 20th Mar '04, 3:49pm
Ditto on what Jaguar said.
Relish what you still have, free speech!

Baronius
Sat, 20th Mar '04, 9:35pm
Don't be a Dick.
D ick? How american politicians come here? :D

Icingdeath45
Tue, 23rd Mar '04, 12:41am
/aplaud well said DR

Benan
Tue, 23rd Mar '04, 1:18am
Death Rabbit your a bastard.

You skinned my knee and taking my ball and going home.

Vyndin Source
Tue, 23rd Mar '04, 10:58am
/applauds DR

Good point ;)
(just hope that everyone that is considering to leave, does just that after reading this... :( )

Well...
/continues scraping other kids knees through playing too rough :D

Chandos the Red
Tue, 23rd Mar '04, 11:31pm
D ick? How american politicians come here? Are you saying that America is run by a D ick, a B ush and a C olon?

Foradasthar
Wed, 24th Mar '04, 4:04pm
Ok. Guess I haven't been following much of the development of these relationships here, for somehow this topic seemed... well... useless. Oh ok, what I mean is this topic seems about what you'd expect a 15-yearold to write on a board filled with 12-yearold teenagers suffering from a serious angst. No offense, really it wasn't. It just seemed *that* out of place to me. But I guess it's like I said, I haven't been following. Given the right circumstances, which seems to be the case, that post was a smart one. Sometimes indeed the obvious needs to be pointed out.

I can say I've had a problem like that in a channel in irc. A channel comprised of the oldest of "Starsiege: Tribes" players (they don't play that anymore). The only online game I've ever played for over a couple of months (5 years actually), and the only one where I ever joined a clan. But whatever our relationship was, it ended a few months back when it became apparent the whole lot of them were nothing but children in adults bodies. As I was kicked out of their channel rudely for the 100:th time for asking a simple question not unlike the stuff that goes on there every day, I decided they were beneath me. Many good contacts were lost there as well, but I've no reason to speak with them as we really have nothing in common anymore.

The problem there was that a couple of rotten eggs had the admins to do what they wanted with the rest. Any difference of opinion, whim, or suggestion from another outsider more respected than I, and I was banned for a day or two. And the "good people" admins didn't care to object. The obvious in this case is that someone who sits by that crap isn't a friend anyway. Still, for several years now I've been there more because of the huge amount of contacts, information and respect the people had. And it did earn me quite a few setbacks when I made clear I would never have anything to do with them again, and none of them would have access to the channels where I operate in. But, I did what my principles demanded of me, and for that I'm glad.

Point is, that's not what Sorcerer's is like. There aren't just 2 options here, one being submission, other to flee. Here the admins are damn well making sure none of that crap gets out of hand. No-one is treated with enough special rights to make it a problem. So if someone pisses you off, be glad knowing they're mentally far more immature than you. Report if you can, or if it's civilized enough, just give it right back at them!

DR couldn't be more right about Sorcerer's Place. This one is a different world from those other mundane low-level forums. Not only because the moderators make a special job keeping the looks here clean. But also because the results of that job is that the average person here is so much more mature, wise and intelligent than anyone on those other boards, that you're bound to get the justice you deserve. I think that someone really losing his nerves over this place would do better to search the answer within themselves, instead of here.

I have, I did, and got wisened a bit.

And just as a final note to this novel surely already longer than Death Rabbit's own (edit: well woopsy, it wasn't longer!), is for you to take the Italian attitude. Don't sulk over it. If you're so pissed at someone you just can't contain it and let it slide, then tell them! Do it in a civilized manner, but tell them! To me that "just shut up and do nothing" attitude never worked. Letting off steam is well and fine so long as the people know what's going on, and don't just take it for a personal attack.

It's like they say, what goes around, comes around. If you have a problem you can't get rid of, you have to take care of it. If people are leaving, it's because of the problems they didn't care to do anything about until they stacked up beyond their ability to ignore. Bring the problems up, discuss them with others, and solve them.

Splunge
Wed, 24th Mar '04, 4:32pm
Two comments:
if someone pisses you off, be glad knowing they're mentally far more immature than you Not necessarily; it depends on what they did to piss you off. It could just be a case of over-reacting.
If you're so pissed at someone you just can't contain it and let it slide, then tell them! Do it in a civilized manner, but tell them! But do it by PM or email, please; don't clutter up the Boards with personal disputes.

Foradasthar
Wed, 24th Mar '04, 5:59pm
Even if you are over-reacting, it's better that you have a strong enough self-esteem to let it pass with that attitude. Compared to sulking over it, or making a quarrel because of it. That is, when you have the choice of course.

And yes, the boards are only good for handling public matters.

Still bringing the point up is nearly always a good idea. Because if someone pisses you off and you tell them about it in a polite non-offensive manner, and they apologize or explain how they never meant to offend you, all's fine. But if they ignore you, or say something even more annoying in response, or even directly insult you again, then you have the right to be angry at them.

Due to my temper, I've been in many situations where someone realised they were pissing me off and did nothing to stop it, instead proceeding on the same path. Then there were consequences, and then everyone screamed over how stupid I was for not getting the joke. Wrong. All wrong. A joke is not a joke when the target of it doesn't find it amusing. Wether you choose to purposefully annoy someone because you want to make them suffer, because you don't care, or because it seems so fun to you, or because you're too dumb to realise, makes no difference. The only thing that matters there is that person "A" is using mental violence against person "B", against "B":s will. And whatever the reason for that, once warned, person "B" has a right and duty to respond in kind. Wether with use of mental or physical violence, I don't care. As they're both just as bad. That's the way it is, and if someone doesn't realise that simple fact then they'd better go find their survival instinct before it's too late.

Needless to say, that text came straight from a billion bitter memories. Lessons that have served me well in life.

Septic Yogurt
Mon, 29th Mar '04, 4:43pm
Personally, I just see it as posting on an internet forum, I come and go often.

People may dislike me but I don't care. :D