Question: When did America become a nation of morons? I found the following warning labels on various packages in my house. I've just got to know, are people really this stupid?

On a bag of Peanuts: "Caution: Contains Nuts."
On a TV Dinner: "Warning: Will be hot after cooking."
On a Television Set: "Not meant for human consumption."
On Coffee Package: "Do not use if you are going to bed."

Rastor, have you been reading the recent Pickles? ;) :p

(In case you people have no idea what I'm talking about, Pickles is a comic strip about old people, and recent strips have involved such "warnings".)

Yes, but then I saw identical warnings on some of my own consumer goods, so decided to make a thread out of it. These are all off of my own products.

That, is some really scary stuff. Do those products really have those types of warnings (maybe it's an anti-lawsuit campaign by companies?) Either way that's really scary that those types of labels even exist.

I think that this is just the result of companies covering their @sses, as it were, in the wake of lawsuits. Which are, at times, stupider than the resultant warnings... but nonetheless prompt or force makers and sellers of goods to explicitly 'warn' of (e.g.) nuts containing nuts.

The next thing we'll see, I'll wager, are lawsuits claiming that the warnings issued ARE NOT BIG ENOUGH, resulting in a federal mandate for font-size relative to other type on the package. Within ten years, "WARNING, CONTAINS NUTS" will be a message printed almost as big as the product name.

The last word will come with stores making agreements with the manufacturers of the goods they carry to get customers to acknowledge certain things. Before allowing anyone to buy, in other words, one will have to sign a form with the notice: "Neither we, nor the makers of wares offered here, will be held responsible for the foolish or thoughtless things you DO with them." I.e. sticking them up your nose or eating them if you are allergic, etc...

@Rastor - America habe always been a nation of morons...

no really i often takes coffeine-pills here in sweden and it have the same label as the american coffe...

See Ya

I think "Nation of Morons" is inaccurate.

I would go for the title "Nation of People Out to Make a Quick Buck by Filing a Stupid Lawsuit."

My mother used to work at a corporate law firm. One day she came home and told us about a family who was suing companies after the recent suicide of the patriarch of the clan. Apparently, he dumped gasoline on himself and lit his cigarette lighter. The family was suing the gas company, Bic (the lighter company), the company that made the suit that he was wearing, and the company that made the shoes he was wearing.

I don't know about you, but if my spouse/parent died tragically like that, I would be in too great of a state of sorrow to worry about getting a few thousand dollars out of "Bic."

Ah, the greed...

Well, America's huge, and correspondingly, there should be a larger proportion of "morons".

But that's not the point though, because...

But like others, I think the main reason is to protect against lawsuits. One woman at McDonald's sued because coffee burned her lips while another sued the same food chain because she slipped on the floor and "broke" her arm. Although she was seen days later at Disneyland using one arm to carry something and the other to open her car.

Oh, well, that's the negative side of semi-pure capitalism,...

America is NOT a place of morons, just individual morons that find holes in the law system provoking such rediculous labels. Most americans are just fine, but since they are, they're not as special as the morons and thus dont get highlighted. Just my average common sense naighbor doesn't get highlighted, but the village idiot do.

[ November 17, 2002, 12:35: Message edited by: Lokken ]

Actually, a bag of peanuts doesnt really include nuts. The peanut is a bean, not a nut, therefore the warning is false. Perhaps there could be leftovers from other nuts in the package.

In a land where everyone is suing everyone, it's only normal to put these kind of things on your products. At least now they are warned IF they manage to get burned while cooking a TV dinner. :D

I saw on a packet that on the bottom it said do not turn upside doan - a bit late. and a plastic bag had 'this bag is for containing items purchased at <shop>. This bag is not for human consumption'

IIRC britain isn't much better: I bought a bottle of water there, and oh surprise, I found the label NO FAT! :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Water with fat in it would be more some kind of .... soup?!

You'll find warnings in the manuals of Porsche cars as well: Only for experienced drivers!

I posted a number of warnings in another thread that came on my new oven. My favorite was: "don't use the open oven door as a stepstool". Another one I just noticed today was on a box of table salt: "Of course we are in the business of selling salt, but out of concern for your health, we ask that you intake our product in moderation!" What do they think, someone will sue them for their high blood pressure?

the thing i said of the american and capitalism was ment to a joke... i have my own ideas but talking about them here would be a little bit offtopic...

See Ya

[ November 17, 2002, 18:50: Message edited by: AssWooper the ÜberSpammer ]

With the exception of the peanuts one, those are pretty stupid. joacqin's right, generally that warning means that there are traces of nuts in the food, something not implied by the presence of peanuts (a legume). Otherwise someone who slips into anaphylactic shock upon eating nuts (e.g. me) would not realize they can't eat these peanuts. This could be a fatal oversight and grounds for (shock of shocks!) a legitimate lawsuit.

[ November 17, 2002, 19:22: Message edited by: The Deviant Mage ]

I'm with Falstaff.

It's our laws. It's our politicians and Judicial system.

That's the problem. That's the answer. Fix the problem, and you have the answer.

Wasn't it Jefferson who said there needs to be a revolution ever 200 years?

*Looks at another thread where someone whines about a non-existent McDonald's suit where a woman burnt her lips (unless he means another sort of lips), wonders at the lack of foundation here, and gives up. Wandering away.

I'm unsure if those notices are because of lawsuits. I believe that such lawsuits would look like this (true story):


Attorney: So, doctor, you determined that a gunshot wound was the cause of death of the patient?

Doctor: That's correct.

Attorney: Did you examine the patient when he came to the emergency room?

Doctor: No, I performed the autopsy.

Attorney: Okay, were you aware of his vital signs while he was at the hospital?

Doctor: Yes, he came in to the emergency room in shock and died in the emergency room a short time after arriving.

Attorney: Did you pronounce him dead at that time?

Doctor: No, I am the pathologist who performed the autopsy. I was not involved with the patient initially.

Attorney: Well, are you even sure, then, that he died in the emergency room?

Doctor: That is what the records indicate.

Attorney: But if you weren't there, how could you have pronounced him dead, having not seen or physically examined the patient at that time?

Doctor: The autopsy showed massive hemorrhage into the chest, and that was the cause of death.

Attorney: I understand that, but you were not actually present to examine the patient and pronounce him dead, isn't that right?

Doctor: No, sir, I did not see the patient or actually pronounce him dead, but I did perform an autopsy and right now his brain is in a jar over at the county morgue. As for the rest of the patient, for all I know he could be out practicing law somewhere.

---------------------------------------------

This is taken from: http://www.laurasmidiheaven.com/card/pages/lawyerandpathologist.shtml

Now tell me if that lawyer doesn't need printed "nuts included" (yes, the trial happened in USA).

[ November 18, 2002, 01:00: Message edited by: Extremist ]

LOL that was hilarious :D
It sucks that people sue over such small things

Maybe i should sue SP for taking up my free time? :p

[ November 18, 2002, 01:07: Message edited by: jesper898 ]

I've seen Sleeping Pills... CAUTION: May cause drowsiness...

The worst ones these days are the warnings on cigarette packs. makes you feel like you're already dead and buried. :D

I was at a friends house recently, and I saw this warning on his window screen:

WARNING! Keep children away. This screen will not stop a small child from falling out.

Hmmm.

Laches, was that aimed at me?

here's a few that are on the back of my children's exersaucer (it's like a walker, but has a bottom so all they can do is stand and jump while they're in it.)
"never use as a flotation device. Never use as a sled. Do not fill saucer with water. Keep child away from ranges, radiators, space heaters, fireplaces."
DUH. I still think we need to have a certified test that people are required to take before becoming a parent. Question one...when is it acceptable to allow a small child near your stove?

The whole label thing is getting way out of hand. I remember this one case I read about in class...

Basically this guy is refinishing the floor in his basement. The can of lacquer (or whatever it is you use to finish floors) had three labels on it "Warning! Flammable!" "Keep away from open flame" and a third one whose wording I don't recall. Anyways, he's doing his finishing job... 18 inches away from his gas heater... never turned out the pilot light... KABOOM! So he sues the company that made the stuff. Of course, he won. The ruling said the labels were not big enough and said that "open flame" was too vague and did not clearly indicate that pilot lights were considered to be open flame.

*sigh*


Supreme Court of Canada, Lambert vs. Lastoplex Chemicals and Barwood Sales if anyone is interested


[ November 18, 2002, 07:15: Message edited by: JohnnyRTFM ]

I recently read about this in one of my mothers mags...
Twas like:
Warning sign on toilet: Do not drink from this toilet.
Note on an iron: Do not touch the flat metallic side on this iron, might burn you.
Warning sign on a pram: Do not "fälla ihop" this pram when your child is in it.
aso..
Will edit this post soon. I am in a hurry. :)

I'm happy I can say that in germany he would have lost that case JohnnyRTFM mentioned - here a lawyer fortunately has 1 to 5 judges (depending on the difficulty and "price" of the case), professional lawyers, to impress and to convince - not a jury. I think "flammable" and "keep away from open fire" would be considered exact enough for a sane, thinking human beeing.

On the other hand, the freaks who sue the company in such cases sometimes really had bad luck, they perhaps fried themselves in a freak accident and now are crippled for life - understandable the miserable, bandaged guy in the wheelchair emotionally impresses the jury, maybe enough for a "what a poor dude" decision. They want to help.

It is an open secret that juries are easily influenced. A schoolfriend of mine who's working for a large german company told me that a european company usually looses patent right lawsuits in the US because of patriotic juries. Such is life, but justice is different.

[ November 18, 2002, 14:39: Message edited by: Ragusa ]

Hmmmm.

Maybe we should be more like Germany.

I am with Laches here.
I wonder if anyone really cares about anything but the easy second hand information? Geez. I recommend people to get used to do a little research on their own. Just five minutes or so. With internet try different links. Notice the website's name. Is it trustworty? Is the website just lookig at the story from one side? A little critisism of your own is healthy. Don't call it netiquette call it netucation

Just some helping words to you youngster of SP. Its not about finding the truth. Its about having integrity. Mark that phrase. Something, all else aside, kids and teenagers have to learn or experince and something adults have to teach or guide or show.

[ November 18, 2002, 17:26: Message edited by: Nobleman ]

<LOUD APPLAUSE>

There have been many, many stupid cases like that here in the U.S., but they get overexagerated with the retellings. Some of these cases are actually logical law cases. For example, about a warning on toasters, they did not put any recommendation to clean the bottom out occasionaly, and a friend of mine's house burned down because stuff built up in the bottom, and it caught fire.

One thing that is really absurd is that in some states you can drive and get married at the age of 15 but you still can't legally use an elevator...

I think evolution is being hampered with each warning like that made, and each lawsuit won. Instead of doing the humanity a favour and not reproducing, the morons keep doing it (and probably much easier with all the moron-money won from those lawsuits) and thus further intensifying the general stupidity of the human race. Giving compensation for idiocy to people is an abomination. I'm sure Darwin is dying a new death every time one moron like that wins a lawsuit and is given money for his stupidity.

Yes...Rewards for being stupid...I'm sure there's big money in setting up people around the place who are "sterile" from warnings and are just supposed to do tons of stupid things and then go to court over the issues...I'm sure burning your own house down nowadays will get you more money than winning a nobel prize...
BTW: Now i realize why the last toaster i got had a whole booklet full of "Do not use to dry clothes..." or "Do not place beneath drapes..."

I'm with Laches on this one. Yes, the warnings are stupid. Yes, what they profess should be self evident. The truth, however, is that without these "warnings for morons," as stupid as they may seem, we would have near-constant litigation from these fools. Yes, as Tal said, it's an evolutionary step backwards, but without them, the world would be a worse place.

P.S. Check out this thread...
http://www.sorcerers.net/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=7;t=002435

[ November 19, 2002, 04:56: Message edited by: SlimShogun ]

But what's the point? There's an infinite number of combinations how a moron could use a certain product to do harm to himself or others. And as far as I can see, these lawsuits are anything but rare.

It's all part of the 'compensation culture' that has sprung up these days, and yep, these people who take others to court over things like not realising the jam in a Pop Tart would be hot, or that coffee is meant to served hot are the ones whose cases highlight these fundamental flaws in any system. I mean, did that woman expect her coffee to be served chilled or what? I'd be willing to stake money that the woman would have complained if it was colder than tempreture and probablt tried to sue for making her sensitive teeth hurt. For each person like this who dies from stupidity we should celebrate, because they're morons and have removed themselves from the gene pool.
Whats next? People suing their loved ones LSD supplier because their loved one thought they could fly and jumped out of a building? They should have taken off from the ground first and tried it out, you don't see ducks queing for lifts to get up to the top of a building to fly south!

(last part almost but not quite what Bill Hicks says in his comedy rutines, got find them and watch reason hold sway) (and don't try to sue him because his material made your side hurt from laughing, he passed away)

Oh for God's sake people, read the link SlimShogun provided before talking about that "stupid woman who didn't know coffee is meant to be hot." That's the second time in just this thread. Makes me wonder whether everything being said is based on myth or fact.

Serenity Now!

The way it's so easy to sue is going against the whole point of evolution and Darwin's law. Not only can you be idiotic and survive, you can cash in. Found out that the woman who sued McDonald's because she burned herself with coffee (HOLY FLAMING CRAP! COFFEE! AND IT'S HOT! WHO'DA THUNK IT?) also sued her MOTHER, who was driving at the time. Well, maybe she'll sue Satan, as burning in hell is certainly cause for a lawsuit.

Here's some more examples.

A Blockbuster Giftcard.
To open: 1. Tear off perforated sides A & B 2. Pull off at arrow.

A Mattress.
Warning: Do not attempt to swallow.

Komatsu Floodlight
This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark! (Okay, that one's probably just a bad translation)

Certain Christmas Lights.
Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only. (Uhhh...)

Various Computers (pop up message).
Keyboard not detected. Press F1 to continue.

Child-Sized Superman Costume.
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly

Swedish Chainsaw.
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.

Volvic Natural Mineral Water
Bottle exclusively designed for the use of Volvic Natural Mineral Water. Do not refill. (How petty. and I giggle like a schoolgirl when I read 'Volvic.' Oh yes. I am the maturest guy ever.)

And the GRAND FINALE!

Swear to God, this is written on a kind of anti-personnel fragmentation land mine:

DO NOT EAT

Oh, one more. Click that.

It's a surprise (http://www.dumbwarnings.com/comments.php?warning_id=156)

And there you have it.

[ November 30, 2002, 01:21: Message edited by: The Soul Forever Seeking ]

I think evolution is being hampered with each warning like that made, and each lawsuit won. Instead of doing the humanity a favour and not reproducing, the morons keep doing it (and probably much easier with all the moron-money won from those lawsuits) and thus further intensifying the general stupidity of the human race. Giving compensation for idiocy to people is an abomination. I'm sure Darwin is dying a new death every time one moron like that wins a lawsuit and is given money for his stupidity. well Tal, here's a link you'll enjoy: www.darwinawards.com (http://www.darwinawards.com)

as the site describes itself

The Darwin Awards honor those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it in really stupid ways. We commemorate those who gave their all, adding a dose of chlorine to the pool.

I know about that site.

Suggestion: new warning sign

"Warning! This is a wall. Do not try to run through it, digest it, or throw it on a living thing. The BuildWall Inc. will not be responsible if this wall is used in a incorrect way. Read the manual for further instructions."

Hopefully the line is drawn before it gets this bad.

[ December 02, 2002, 10:52: Message edited by: Virne ]

:bang:

:1eye:

:help:

[ December 02, 2002, 13:45: Message edited by: Morgoth ]

After reading Slim's link, I finally start to see it the way that burned crotch woman did, but she did still sue her mother.

I'm surprised she didn't sue her car.

Here's a pair of Darwin awards for ya.

Guy walks into a store. Decides to steal some expensive food. Shoves a pair of lobsters down his pants. Guess what happened? Snap. Ouch.

Couldn't find it on the site, but I did hear about this one:

This guy decides he wants to fly. He fails his pilot's test, couldn't do this, that, and the other thing, you know. Couldn't fly.

So he buys three or four surplus weather balloons, ties them to a lawn chair, ties down said chair, inflates the balloons, and gets a sandwich and a gun. He'll eat the sandwich if he gets hungry, and he'll shoot out balloons one by one for a "controlled descent." Dresses warmly (it's cold up there), straps himself in, and cuts the ropes.

It worked.

He shot up to about five thousand feet in SECONDS.

Now he's panicking. If he shoots the balloons, he could die. (Just realized it.) So he just hangs on, hopes the straps don't give out, and eats his sandwich.

He floats around for a few hours, then nearly crashes into a plane. (think of that scene from Eraser) The pilots, after making sure they aren't losing their minds, call the airport.

The government sends out the national guard and the air force on a massive rescue mission.

He eventually gets down, and he's okay.

But imagine this. You're on a business trip, vaguely paranoid about flying, (it's post-9/11 after all), and when you glance out the window - there's a man in a balloon chair out there with a gun.

Egad.

So, Soul, who gets sued? The chair manufacturer, the guy who refused him his pilot's license, or the rubber company that made the balloon? How about these "signs":

On the chair: WARNING: Do not digest or attempt to use as a floation device or an implement of flight.

On the balloon: Do not tie to lawn chairs or other light things. It will pull them up if multiples are used.

Useful one:
On Windows CD: The computer may (and will) crash if installed.

On a television set: Not Dishwasher Safe

I have two personal faves from the Darwin Awards; they're both from my area. First, you have a logger running a chipper. It jammed. He decided to clear it without shutting it off. Think "Chunky salsa". This happened up Aroostook County way, 'bout 2 hours from my home.

Second, you have a good ol' boy out for a night's drunk. At closing time,he gets in his truck, and proceeds to drive into an open tank in the nearby raw sewage processing station. This happened about ten minutes from where I live, and my sister's first comment was "What a sh*tty way to die"... I think George Carlin said it best: There's about a 25% terminal-stupidity rate in the US today. Of course, unemployment is only 10%. Don't worry about the stupidity rate, worry about the terminally stupid who HAVE JOBS THAT COULD AFFECT YOUR LIFE.(President, frex.) :mommy:

Tal, two phrases come to mind based on what you said,
-Its time to start thining the herd.
-Its time to start put some chloring in the gene pool again.
On a pack of peanuts-warning: not to be consumed by those with allergies to peanuts.
on a jar of peanuts butter-contains peanuts, may cause reaction in those allergic to peanuts.
on an ice cream maker-Warning: Do not stick tongue close to frozen tub to taste ice cream.
On a hand mixer: warning: do not touch rotating blades with tongue.
Of course, I always love this one that appears in most trouble shooting sections of appliance manuals.
Problem: Appliance does not operate when switch is turned to the on position. Solution: Make sure appliance if plugged in.
Another one I like is on my waffle maker, Do not use Waffle Maker for use other than intended use. Give me a freakin break. What else could I use a waffle maker for? Hmmmm, I am sensing a topic for "whatnots"

On the sorcerers site: beware of the *insert IotW*
:rolleyes:

On a car: WARNING: Driving directly into a tree at high speeds can be hazardous to your health.

[ January 01, 2003, 03:41: Message edited by: Rastor ]