View Full Version : POLL: Followup to Chev's Love Machine
Mon, 10th May '04, 7:43pm
Out of all the young'uns here, (And the single oldies) how many people plan to get married, how many people plan to have kids and how many kids do you plan to have.
This poll contains 2 question(s). 55 user(s) have voted.
You may not view the results of this poll without voting.
Poll Results: Followup to Chev's Love Machine (55 votes.)
Do you or Do you not plan to get married (Choose 1)
* Yes - 69% (38)
* No - 31% (17)
How many kids do you plan to have in your lifetime? (Choose 1)
* None at all.... hate the buggers. - 27% (15)
* 1 - 5% (3)
* 2 - 40% (22)
* 3 - 22% (12)
* 4 - 0% (0)
* 5 or more of the bundles of joy!! - 5% (3)
Mon, 10th May '04, 7:48pm
Living freely ever after :D
Truly, i belive marriage is a completely unnecessary thing. All it does is create tension between partners. Anyway, no marriage, though kids arent that bad. You can always send them to shop something you're too lazy for :grin:
Mon, 10th May '04, 7:51pm
What a lovely father you are Gothmog, though i see your point :D
I want a girl called Aeris, and two boys called Jack and Auron. If i can settle down by 25 im doin good.
Mon, 10th May '04, 7:54pm
I don't plan getting married per se. When it comes, fine. And it would be great if it would come. That is, should there be a right person. I don't get into relationships of which the only purpose is being in a relationship, so consquently I'm single for most of the time. I'm not going to change that policy, especially if it comes to marriage. Especially because there's no divorce from a consumed Catholic marriage.
It will not be on a whim. No romantic stupidity for which you pay for the lest of your life. As I've said a few times already, I would sooner marry an old friend than a new crush.
In short, I'm not getting tied down unless I'm sure it's the right one.
Also, I understand why people find a wife or a husband before they get to old. After all, family to found etc. However, I'd rather stay free and unbound if it wouldn't be for something very real, almost tangible. Given my lifestyle and my prospects for the future, it is definitely not a good idea to begin a family just to have it.
So, I'm going to stay open and flexible, but in no way specifically seek a wife.
Note: having a relationship just to have one results in meeting the supposed right person when you are already with someone else. I am not going to face that.
[ May 10, 2004, 20:05: Message edited by: chevalier ]
Mon, 10th May '04, 8:04pm
No girlfriend, no wife, no kids.
No boyfriend either, if that's what you're thinking.
I'll reply to this topic again in ten years.
Mon, 10th May '04, 8:07pm
The clock is ticking for me too. Pretty nasty; just two years ago I wouldn't had even thought of getting kids. :shame:
Mon, 10th May '04, 8:21pm
I can't envision my self getting married or having children. The world is safe for now :p
I've never had a boyfriend or girlfriend - I don't care either, even if other people do :rolleyes:
Mon, 10th May '04, 8:51pm
Do you or Do you not plan to get married
No Err this question is a mostly yes question because everybody either does plan to (yes) or does not plan to (yes) in which case only those who are already married should answer no. Sorry I'm a grammar annoyance, though my own grammar is terrible too. Lol.
Well I do plan to get married and to have two plus kids. That's what I hope anyway, though I doubt my girlfriend (who I am madly in love with) would see it this way, lol.
Mon, 10th May '04, 10:18pm
I never intend on having any kids although I am sure when I am 40+ I will get a knock on my door with some dude telling me he is my son. I most absolutely positively definitely do not intend on getting married.
Tue, 11th May '04, 9:19am
Well, no, I don't 'plan' on it as such, but I accept the possibility it could happen. However, I don't really feel the need to think on such presently.
Tue, 11th May '04, 10:08am
I hope to get married and have two children (max). Once I've had 2 I'm getting the good old 'man' treatment to stop me making babies. Two kids stops you from spoiling an only child, three kids + stops you from spoiling yourself. A fine balance.
Course, like Chev, I'm not going to get married for the sake of getting married. But unlike Chev I'm actually going to look for my bride-to-be.
Tue, 11th May '04, 10:35am
One day maybe, when I meet that special girl. Or guy I suppose. The future is wide open after all. :heh:
people person-i eat people
Tue, 11th May '04, 2:12pm
i intend on getting married when im about 30ish and i want to have 2 kids, no more, no less, because i think having one kid isnt very good because then he/she is lonely, but 3 is just too many IMO i think 2 is just right :)
Tue, 11th May '04, 9:40pm
I am not sure if I want to get married... Until now I have always been sure on that I will not get married, but now, I don't know.
At least I know I want children, about three of them...
Fri, 14th May '04, 12:41am
Being 15 I don't plan to get married anytime soon.
But maybe in 5 to 15 years when I meet the right girl.
As I am the oldest of 5 kids, I now that littluns can ruin your life; if I ever talk about kids, please get me sterilized
[EDIT: stupid typos and missed words :o ]
Fri, 14th May '04, 5:45am
Marriage certainly IS something I think about and it would be nice to have it happen but as with so many others, it must be the right person and considering I'm not exactly elated with my current girlfriend then I guess it's not going to happen anytime soon hey?
As for kids, I'm blessed with 2 already - though unfortunately the mother of each (yes, 2 different mothers) duped me inasmuch as they hid their true selves until after they gave birth - and also stemming from the answer above, I would like to find the RIGHT woman to setle down with and have at least one more.
Sun, 16th May '04, 1:35am
wheeee thanks for all your supoprt peoples. :D
Maja didnt know you still looked through the boards ;) Thanks for your reply.
Dark Haired Beauty
Sun, 16th May '04, 3:51am
I think one day I see myself married. Right now I find dating different guys more interesting than just sticking to one guy. As far as having children maybe one day but right now I am too much of a child at times myself. When I graduate from college and find my own support and carrer to fall back on then children seem more plausable. Most of the guys I've dated started off like Anomen but within a few months turned into too much Minsc. I thing for sure before I say I DO I would like to find a guy who I think WILL. Why a woman needs an education before marriage
Sun, 16th May '04, 1:57pm
That's because Anomen is so much like Minsc ;)
Sun, 23rd May '04, 2:28pm
I don't want to be tied down to anybody.
Sun, 23rd May '04, 3:14pm
That's what I thought, but then the hormones decided otherwise. :( I bet your mind begins to change bit by bit too...
Sun, 23rd May '04, 5:15pm
Yeah, I think it's always important to remember that circumstances change and the current ones aren't permanent. Not all is gold that glitters, but nowhere does it actually say it isn't, either. Just to keep a balanced view and try to see it from all sides is the best way, I believe.
Sometimes it's nice to lose yourself in the moment, but there's always responsibility. There's always the future. And the past. The past is there to give you material for comparison and some bases to build your insight on. The future is your goal. The present serves to shape the future using the material that the past gives you to help make an informed decision. Craving momentary delight doesn't make it, it's not lasting. It's surely some experience and contributes to the great database of the past, but you're ultimately going to build some future and not stretch the limits of your database of past experiences. Don't you think? At least that's how I see it.
Sun, 23rd May '04, 7:47pm
After reading it three times, you're still a confusing bastard! :D
I get your meaning, but I prefer living day to day, because we don't know how much future we have!
Apart from that, I haven't been interested in having a relationship for the best part of two years now... its just too much hassle.
Sun, 23rd May '04, 9:46pm
I always say relationship for the sake of having a relationship is not worth it.
Mon, 24th May '04, 7:42am
I think I'm following chev's 'confusing' post. Basically you're saying that The Past + The Present = The Future and other distractions aren't really part of the equation in the long run right?
Mon, 24th May '04, 3:40pm
In a way yes, though the way it works, at least as I see it, it's more in the shape of causational relation:
The past causes the present, the present causes the future.
Even though, directly, the future is caused by the present. However, logically if the past causes the present and the present causes the future, then the past causes the future.
The past is a collection of various experience that you use in the present to help you in the shaping of the future (at least in so far as it depends on you). While the past is a great division of time, the present is just a little point. The moment. Just enough for you to recollect your experience from the past and transform it into some future.
The downside of this reasoning is that the future will, by definition, never come and never truly exist since only the present exists. So you will live in the present until you die. Shaping the future, of course.
For this reason, one should rather avoid the extremes and exercise some temperance. Inconsistent? Well, no. Temperance was the reason for this whole reasoning (and inference) in the first place.
Therefore while losing yourself in a moment is largely inconsequential (in so far as it doesn't affect the future per se but only distracts you from it), it's always a good thing to stop and smell the roses. Should you stop for a longer time, if you exercise a reasonable and sensible approach, you will not lose the time. Instead, you will build your base of experience and help yourself make decision later.
How does it all relate to getting married and having children? Don't let yourself serve your momentary whims. Every single moment in your life when you make a decision involves your whole future. Life will hold you responsible for every such moment. Decisions such as getting married (and with whom) or having a child necessitate a wise, informed choice. With sufficient deliberation, if necessary, but still not letting yourself lose totally in the deliberation. Deliberation is not the goal, it's only a means of achieving it. Contradiction? Perhaps. Temperance is key.
Tue, 25th May '04, 4:15am
Much more eloquent than I could ever possibly hope to be chev. And all so true of course. The only thing in my experience which negates any effect decision making may have is when a decision is taken out of one's hands - eg, when one partner in a relationship 'sabotages' and attempt at contraception. Whether it be through lies ('I'm on the pill', 'I've had a vasectomy' etc) or through physical sabotage of contraceptive devices such as using a pin to put holes in condoms. This las actually happened in my situation and was later admitted. granted though, these examples really only apply to having children but the only example I am aware of where decisions involving marriage are effectively taken out of one's hands is when a decision is made on only half-truths and hidden truths such as one's partner's true nature being concealed until after the union is made 'official'.
Tue, 25th May '04, 7:08am
Well, considering that my main ambition such as it is is to be a mother, that rather answers the question right there. However, having had one marriage fail, I'm a great deal more skeptical on the relationship front.
Add to the fact that I'm almost 31, and yeah, it's unsettling at times.
Mon, 31st May '04, 4:00pm
I am still undecided about children. I don't see a spouse as a tie-down, but children can be. It is a huge decision in life to create something that will be totally dependent on you for at least 16+ years. It's an awfully long time....and any parent will tell you that you never stop being a parent. /shrugs
As for marriange....well...I am here to tell you something very important about relationships that I have learned. People change. Every day in some small way....and sometimes in really big ways, espeacially over the years. And sometimes, no matter how careful you are, a few years down the road you could wake up and find that you have chosen the wrong person after all, because the person they have evlolved into, is not someone you want to be with. And love, alone...often is not enough. On the flip side...you could know someone for a very short time...marry them.....and years down the road find yourself more in love with them than ever.
My point...you can never be too sure....trust your gut and do what your heart tells you to do. If there is even just the slightest hesitation....don't do it at all.