View Full Version : Thanks BG! Do you believe in online love?
Thu, 15th Jul '04, 1:45pm
A year ago, I started to play again BG2, I read somewhere about mods and anything so I searched in google and the fisrt link was SP, entered, started to download files, some of them were more than 1MB so because the connection is too slow I had to find other things to do, so I opened one of the many chat rooms around, met a girl, started to chat almost everyday, mails, pics, phone calls, and then one day love started to show up. One thing you must know first: I am in Argentina, that's South America, she lives in Spain. So one day she decides to visit me, we spend one week together, the love was real, two months ago she came again. Our relationship grow stronger every day, so strong that I feel that my life will not continue here so I started to do all the paper work and decided that I have to move where she lives. Finally, the time has come, my economic situation didn't allow me to take the journey and I had to make sure that I would find one there. Things worked out great, she want me badly to be there, I want badly to be there, because I realized that I love her. So in a few days I will be posting from Spain.
And all started here, at SP, so thank you.
(oh, she's the one who likes play games also, am I lucky?)
Thu, 15th Jul '04, 2:59pm
Online socialising of the romantic kind is tightly surrounded by misconceptions. Some people will think it's altogother broken, everyone on the internet is a perverted looney with issues and so on. Others, in turn, will be naive enough to believe whatever they're said and take people's auto-descriptive (edit: cor. typo) stories for real.
Both perspectives are wrong. The internet is as good as any other place - it has its good and bad sides as just about any scenery. For people for who are active on the internet - all sorts of techies, webmasters, adminkin and other geekfolk - it's an attractive option as the people they meet this way are more likely to share at least some of their interests. Well, and for people who believe in matching, there's a huge world of indexed searchable data - age categories, locations, religions, languages spoken, education received, income, areas of interest... whatever. But those people typically have enough knowledge and instinct to avoid falling for bogus chatroom charm, anyway.
People who aren't internet dwellers should, however, be cautious when trying out the new ways of getting lai... dates. And even more so when feelings come into question.
Congrats, Sydax! Hope you live together happily everafter and so on. Don't forget to name your eldest son Charname :lol: :D
[ October 13, 2004, 12:56: Message edited by: chevalier ]
Thu, 15th Jul '04, 3:11pm
The internet is as good as any other place Not as good as meeting face-to-face ;) Think of a phone-call, then replace the voice with "always neutral" tone, and you get Internet. :roll:
Thu, 15th Jul '04, 5:55pm
I know several people on other boards who have met online, and after a while got together and married. It all depends on how serious you are about the relationship and how much effort you're willing to put in it.
Thu, 15th Jul '04, 7:16pm
Head to head is always better when it comes to contacts, but the internet is as good a place as any other for starting an acquaintance.
Thu, 15th Jul '04, 9:44pm
A heart-warming story. :)
Thu, 15th Jul '04, 10:02pm
I know several people who have met their long term partners on the Internet so I no longer scoff at the concept. Maybe it will now happen at SP more often. Maybe Deathmage and 8people will finally get together as well. Or maybe they already have and just haven't told us yet.
Thu, 15th Jul '04, 10:28pm
I think not somehow :shake:
I think falling in love online is possible...
But me and DM? No. No offense to DM - but no way :p
There are probably a few couples on SP anyway. IIRC there are some members that have brought their partners on here anyway, but excluding them there are probably some.
Good luck to you Sydax. Hopefully you won't get people making comments about meeting each other online :rolleyes:
Thu, 15th Jul '04, 11:41pm
There have been several cases of people finding partners via SP, but I found out about them second-hand via the chatroom. For some reason none of those members made it public knowledge, strangely enough.
Fri, 16th Jul '04, 12:12am
Anyone feeling like making the hectic DSL lines burn? :p
Fri, 16th Jul '04, 3:59am
Maybe Deathmage and 8people will finally get together as well. Or maybe they already have and just haven't told us yet.How'd you know?! :D
But me and DM? No. No offense to DM - but no way :p That's not what you said LAST night. :p
I now hold Harbourboy solely responsible for finding me an online girlfriend. Anyways, back to the topic...
Online love is probably quite possible. I've heard several cases of it. Haven't heard anything about people in SP, though, although that would be interesting.
Fri, 16th Jul '04, 5:12am
Congratulation Sydax for finding that special someone. Any way that you met her doesn't matter, what matters is that you did find her and I hope you all the best for your future romance. It means a lot that you are willing to leave your home to move to her country and be with her. Good luck to you friend.
Fri, 16th Jul '04, 6:22am
8people and Deathmage sittin' in a tree,
First comes love, then comes marrige,
Then comes lil' mage in a baby carrige.
Have fun in Spain. ;)
Fri, 16th Jul '04, 6:45am
Yeah, online romance is possible. I have a couple of collegues who started out in a chatroom and ended up in marriage a couple of years later.
Good luck Sydax. And remember, if you visit your mom in Argentina, don't bring your PC games, ok. :D
Fri, 16th Jul '04, 6:46am
I am actually one of those who naively believed at first that on-line dating was the sole domain of the perverted. That was until I actually realised I had a brain and came to the very same conclusions that have previously been posted - that it's fraught with pretty much the same risks as meeting people any other way with the exception that it's easier for the perverted people to hide their true selves on-line.
In fact, I'm just embarking on a journey to find, at the very least, some new friends of the female persuasion, and considering I'm really bad at talking to women face-to-face if I don't know them I'm considering using on-line outlets.
Fri, 16th Jul '04, 8:41am
somehow that connection just doesnt sound right. deathmage and 8people (eight people?!). unless of course DM is a polygamist, then its all right.
Fri, 16th Jul '04, 8:51am
I can adjust. :D
Fri, 16th Jul '04, 1:25pm
Ok, that's enough nonsense. Stick to the topic.
Sat, 17th Jul '04, 12:56am
The biggest problem with online romance is the physical side. Now you can tell me you don't go for looks etc, and we will all be being so highly elevated etc until the time comes we see something we don't like. People can't really assess their own looks unless they have feedback from other people (and people you meet online are less likely to have had feedback from real people as they spend much time online, so unless they have photos... well, and you always need to know just what the other person looks like), and well... we all have turn-ons and turn-offs. In my case, they hardly make a transparent system, so I simply "have to see it". Splitting it artificially in two - ie separating the personality side from the looks side and putting the latter off for later judgement usually kills it.
[ October 13, 2004, 13:52: Message edited by: chevalier ]
Wed, 13th Oct '04, 5:37am
Just a couple of simple questions as I have recently begun communicating with someone I met on an online dating service.
1) When asked to "tell me about yourself" what the hell does one respond with??
2) How long should one wait for a reply to a message if one was initially receiving responses every day?
Wed, 13th Oct '04, 6:31am
1) Choose a day at random from the last week and list all the main things you did. That will tell them a lot about what you do, what you like, and how you think.
2) Tough one. Her PC might be broken or she might be busy at work etc.
Wed, 13th Oct '04, 9:27am
Sydax, is she an avid SPer? And if so, who is she? :rolling:
Wed, 13th Oct '04, 10:06am
Wow! This is old...
Nope, she's not from here, just me, her name is Carolina and I found her (or she found me) in just a particular day when I was downloading a mod from here and while I was waiting for the download to end I got in one chat room, she on the other hand, never been in a chat room neither, but that particular day she went with a friend to teach her how to use internet so while she waited for her, she did the same thing I did: get into a chat room, so we met.
Wed, 13th Oct '04, 11:27am
Congrats! You are defoinitely onre lucky guy, to have something like that to happen to you. :)
Sort of reminds me of my second cousin's half-brother, who moved from FInland to Canada to his online gf :)
In more general terms, I like to think that online dating is a rather good thing; after all, online it's easier for shy people to come out of their shells and all that jazz. Of course, I am not discounting the importance of face-to-face meetings; I am sure that had not my... err... there really are no wors to describe the relationship... and I gotten along face-to-face with "personal chemstry" as it is, our relationship most definitely would not have gone where it went.
(And on that note, had another online thing gone differently, I am sure that the perosnal chemistry might've led to bloodshed.... hindsight and all that :p )
Wed, 13th Oct '04, 1:09pm
1) When asked to "tell me about yourself" what the hell does one respond with??
2) How long should one wait for a reply to a message if one was initially receiving responses every day?1. Lines like "tell me about yourself" mean that the person is trying to shift the burden on you. It's not necessarily bad - perhaps she's having a bad day or maybe she's shy... or maybe she actually did mean to ask you to tell her about yourself and did NOT mean it to be a cheap pick up line. Note: it's almost always wrong for people who started the conversation, especially if they started it a couple of lines ago. As for answer, you could turn it into a joke. Or ask her what specifically she would like to hear. If it's the very first conversation and she's acting like sort of a host, she probably wants a general summary, like: "My name is Jon. I am a doctor's assistant at the local morgue and I'm a very lively person, if you know what I mean."
2. Three days is considered the bottom line when someone isn't answering despite having means of answering. Delay above 3 days is rude. Much like with returning phone calls, actually. One day shouldn't worry you, but if it's two or more, you probably don't mean as much to her as you would like to. There are cyber cafes, there are friends with internet connection, employers and educators have it... there's always a way of dropping a line if someone's going to go offline for a couple of days. Note: people can still fall ill for a week or some such.
@Sydax: Congrats :) It's good that there's such a nice example to prove that falling in love online is possible. It always requires some special circumstances and is way different from the standard chat talk, but it's definitely there. God bless you and your girl.
[ October 13, 2004, 13:25: Message edited by: chevalier ]
Thu, 14th Oct '04, 12:56am
...finding me an online girlfriend How about chev? :p
Thu, 14th Oct '04, 1:57am
Think of a phone-call, then replace the voice with "always neutral" tone, and you get Internet. hehe hilarious :D
How about chev? Even better :p hehe
Congratulations man, don't stop posting though, or SP is gonna lose the only "old" dude with good taste in music ;) :p I'd suggest playing Candleburn to celebrate but I think it sets the wrong kind of mood haha
Thu, 14th Oct '04, 5:57am
Wow, didn't think there'd actually be this much activity on the thread after my 'resurrecting' it.
Anyway, with the three-day guideline chev mentioned, would it be considered bad in anyway if I were to message her again at that point?
Thu, 14th Oct '04, 6:25am
Anyway, with the three-day guideline chev mentioned, would it be considered bad in anyway if I were to message her again at that point?No... I don't think so. If you wait until the third day and stay away from asking too many and/or too personal questions, it won't be impolite. But from there on, you'll have to give up on messaging until she replies. Don't worry, you lose nothing in either case: if two messages don't merit a reply, a third won't do the job, except maybe provoking her to ditch you in a very direct way; if she can't reply the two right now but would if could, she will reply the two when she can, even without a third.
Thu, 14th Oct '04, 1:00pm
I agree with Chev; After all, it is always possible - if improbable - that she did not receive your message for some reason.
After all, technology is fallible.
Fri, 15th Oct '04, 4:40am
Well, according to the display in my profile, she has read the last message I sent.
Either way, I'll probably wait until Monday now to message her again, would asking if I said something wrong in my last post seem too...I don't know, insecure is probably the word I'm looking for, maybe creepy...or should I just stick to asking how her weekend was?
Fri, 15th Oct '04, 5:12am
Sorry to be l'enfant terrible, but if she's from SP, she could read your current post asking for suggestions on the meaning of her current behaviour... I guess letting her read it defeats the purpose of your posting it.
Perhaps she's thinking on the reply, or maybe she haven't had the time to type it down yet. If you had said something wrong, I think she would have replied you in a short and concise way... Don't worry... yet.
If you do message her, keep it neutral with only a bit of some benevolent interest more personal in nature. Make it her job to guess what the interest is. Come on, guys don't really talk to girls for new friendship, right? She most probably knows this. If you show too much interest, she can think it's not worth it, like you're desperate or easy to get or some such.
If you genuinely care about her, be honest and open (just try not to say all things at once or you'll scare her away). But the sooner you realise you're in for some big pain the better for you.
Fri, 15th Oct '04, 5:18am
Well chev, I seriously doubt she comes to SP, but I guess I cane never be sure unless I ask her.
Anyway, possible intended sarcasm with the friendship comment notwithstanding, at the moment I'm just hoping that some kind of relatioship comes of it even if it is just friendship because I'm mighty short on friends right now, I can probably count all my friends on 2 fingers. And believe me when I say that I know I'm probably setting myself up for big-time pain in the long run, but there's no way it could be anywhere near as bad as what I've had to deal with already. (see recent post in RB for an example)
Fri, 15th Oct '04, 5:58am
Oh well, don't reconcile with just friends role... she might try putting you there out of shyness. Make sure you've shown her you don't see her as just a friend and let her choose... The worst you risk is getting dumped and it's part of male fate, hehe. Well, better to get dumped than to miss a good girl.
[ October 15, 2004, 06:09: Message edited by: chevalier ]
Mon, 18th Oct '04, 9:00am
It's not that I'm reconciling myself to the 'just friends' role as such, it's more that if that's what ends up happening, then I'm okay with that but if she returns my interest in being more, then great.
Anyway, I just sent her a message asking how her weekend went and telling her that mine went pretty well. IF I even get a response, it probably won't get to my account before tonight.
Damn I need a home PC with Internet access.