View Full Version : Beware! The US army is going to make you gay!
Sat, 15th Jan '05, 7:07pm
Ok now this is scary. :mommy:
Well as the article says the project did not get very far and never got funding from the pentagon, but it's a pretty interesting idea though. Just imagine in Iraq dozens of insurgents jumping at each other in sexual frenzy while the US troops desperatly try to get them off themselves and each other. :D
Seriously though I can't imagine what kind of people would actually waste time/money to research something as silly as some of those mentioned in the article. :rolleyes:
Sat, 15th Jan '05, 7:58pm
Haha. I read this in the paper. Only in America...
Son of Bhaal
Sat, 15th Jan '05, 8:12pm
LOL! WTF is the world comming to!?!?
Sat, 15th Jan '05, 10:13pm
No! No! Hassan, you're improperly holding the rifle... you need to position your hips differently. Let me help you. See? Like this...
Muhammed... I never noticed, your eyes... I could gaze into them forever!
Take me! Take me now!
Sun, 16th Jan '05, 12:25am
Can't remember the last time I had so many laughs in AoDA. :lol:
Sun, 16th Jan '05, 12:32am
ArtE --- ROTFLMAO! Hehehe! Yea, that's just about the most ridiculous thing I've heard of yet from our illustrous military. :lol:
Sun, 16th Jan '05, 12:28pm
I read somewhere else about an idea of coating the bullets in pig fat and loudly proclaim this fact. This would then make the more religious insurgents much more careful as, in the mind of the person who came up with the idea, they would go to hell if they died by a bullet covered in pig fat according to the Koran. I am quite sure this idea did not come from the military.
Sun, 16th Jan '05, 1:16pm
Aha.. but what if the enemy deploys a division of raging feminists ? Didn't think about that one, did you Uncle Sam ? :D
What the men concerns...i guess tactical jackets are out of date against tactics like that, it's gonna be kevlar buttprotection from now on.
Sun, 16th Jan '05, 3:29pm
Read about this in another forum already. Guess what? If they dropped a Tactical Gay-Bomb to San Francisco no one would even notice the different -at most they would get a influx of big, ugly, half-naked men ready to hump each other. :spin:
(Said the same there too, btw)
Sun, 16th Jan '05, 3:43pm
Good thing they didn't implement that, else the muslims would find a way to send our souls to our hells.
Sun, 16th Jan '05, 4:02pm
Another idea was to develop a chemical causing "severe and lasting halitosis", so that enemy forces would be obvious even when they tried to blend in with civilians.In related news, the Ferraro corporation (the maker of Tic Tacs) has opened 200 new stores in the Middle-East....
In a variation on that idea, researchers pondered a "Who? Me?" bomb, which would simulate flatulence in enemy ranks."Ok...who cut the cheese?!"
"Whoever smelt it dealt it!"
"Whoever denied it supplied it!"
Sun, 16th Jan '05, 4:31pm
The first thing I did after reading the article was look at the date. It HAD to be something published on April 1, I thought. Nope, I was wrong; this is not an easter egg.
@Joacqin: However came up with this bullet idea didn't read the Kur'an very carefully it seems :grin:
For everyone's information, no, the Kur'an doesn't say that dying by a bullet coated with pig fat sends a Muslim to hell. And for good reason too: there were no such things as bullets at the time!
The people who come up with such ideas should be sent to the moon. The increase in average IQ level on our planet would go up dramatically.
This thread belongs more in "Post your jokes here" than in the Alley!
Sun, 16th Jan '05, 4:53pm
@ Art – ROTFLMAO!
“Hanif, is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”
“Ooh Faraj, I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!”
The Great Snook
Mon, 17th Jan '05, 4:21am
Bah, you just can't make anyone happy nowadays. I applaud the military for creatively looking at non-lethal methods of combat. Although, now that I think about it, the point is to probably kill the enemy while they are distracted by all of the anal sex, bee stings, and bad breath. Well if it saves one U.S. soldier I'm all in favor of it.
Mon, 17th Jan '05, 4:42am
Scientists also reportedly considered a "sting me/attack me" chemical weapon to attract swarms of enraged wasps or angry rats towards enemy troops.I don't like that one. What if the target is allergic to wasp stinges? You can't call that non-lethal and a plain bullet in the skull or torso might even be better.
Mon, 17th Jan '05, 3:38pm
These ideas make me think of old GI Joe and Superfriends cartoons. Maybe they'll get their ideas from roadrunner next -anvils must be cheaper than bombs.
And snopes has an article (http://www.snopes.com/rumors/pershing.htm) on the pork fat thing.
[ January 17, 2005, 15:55: Message edited by: Ironbeard ]
Mon, 17th Jan '05, 4:25pm
Hehe, they could throw just a bomb of ordinary explosives on enemy troops and simply kill them by blowing them to bits (what has worked reasonably well in countless wars).
But that evidently isn't enough for the pentagon braniacs - they probably consider homosexuality as something worse than death.
I tell you, that project is going to make history in gay porn, probably titled like "Gay bombed", parts I to XVIII ... :p :p :p First Graner & Lynndie SM Inc. and now that ... embarassing.
And consider the potential for variations: The "Queer Bomb", turning once grim enemies into cross-dressing transvestites ...
US weapon designers must really be oversexed. Considering the laughable outcry about this utterly unattractive pierced boob, it must be the general US puritanism ... maybe the country shouldn't be all that uptight: loosen up, folks. :shake:
Mon, 17th Jan '05, 4:41pm
I'm starting to believe they actually tested one of those bombs in Amsterdam some time ago. :D