Does anyone here have any personal experiences with addictions of either the chemical or mental variety? Any links to good literature on the subject? Any tips on how to control cravings? I need info and personal experience from my friends here on SP -- and even my enemies, too! ;)

I was a heavy smoker for about 14 years. I used the patch to quit last year, and I'm tobacco free for about 9 months now.

Heavy nicotine addict here, using snus/snuff or whatever the English term is. As far as I know there is no good one but a few American brands are Shoal and Copenhagen. Heavily addicted, cannot imagine myself quitting in the near future. You have to find some strong inner motivation and actually want to quit for yourself or it is doomed.

Well, I smoke and drink quite heavily... addicted? Perhaps, but I don't think so. I could stop if I wanted. That's not denial, I seriously reckon I could stop if I wanted! It's just something I enjoy, so I do it.

What kind af addiction are you looking for help on? There are many kinds of addictions, and different ways to deal with them, but treatment for one addiction is not necessarily going to be effective for another.

The Mormons have a looked at the 12 step program for AA, and modified it to a more Chirst centred basis. It's available on the church website. Here's the link to the information page. The manual is available in PDF format.

http://www.providentliving.org/content/display/0,11666,6629-1-3414-1,00.html

I was (and in a sense I am still) addicted to nicotine. I quit six years ago after a "little" bout of bronchitis. My doctor "suggested" that I could avoid that kind of unpleasantness in the future if I quit smoking.

For me, quitting was comparatively easy since I couldn't smoke the first two or three weeks anyway (smoking and bronchitis don't go along;)) but I still have cravings occasionally. I found that ordinary (non-nicotine) chewing gum helped me over the worst cravings.

"I'm addicted to love" and "there ain't on cure, there ain't no cure, there ain't no cure for love" :D

It's true, though. No way round it, no way through and "the world is not enough" for me to find love. "You know it's sad but true" :cry: :shake:

You have to find some strong inner motivation and actually want to quit for yourself or it is doomed.

Totally agree. The first time I tried to quit smoking was several years ago. However, at the time, I didn't really want to quit, and therefore I was not properly motivated and I failed. It was the upcoming birth of my son last year that provided the necessary motivation for me to quit.

That said, I also am inclined to agree with Barmy - if you don't want to stop you won't - regardless of whether you are addicted or not. The smoking addiction is a much more likely than an alcohol addiction. Unless you get the shakes at work because you haven't had a drink all day, chances are you do NOT have an alcohol addiction.

As for a nicotine addiction, I don't know how much you smoke or your smoking habits throughout the day, so it's impossible for me to say. My wife smoked about a pack a week for several years, but because she smoked so lightly, she never became addicted, and was able to easily stop when she decided to. If, on the other hand, you smoke a pack a day, you may find that stopping is much more difficult.

How mysterious of you not telling your addiction before asking, must be something embarrasing. I personally tip it's licking frogs.

Me myself have never been addicted to anything.

It's not anything like that, Morgoroth, you sicko! I'm gathering data to help my idiot stepson (more to the point, his mother, my wife.)

Licking frogs, indeed!

During my military times there were some strange rumours circulating around about me licking frogs, I can't possibly imagine what caused such preposterous rumours to surface. ;)

In any case I'm not much of help with addiction, I've had people around me with plenty of addictions but since I have little expirience of them myself I'm not really qualified on giving advice. One that comes to my mind is that you need to focus 100% on fighting the addiction and somehow I read the from between the lines that it might not be the case in this instance.

During my military times there were some strange rumours circulating around about me licking frogsI didn't know you were stationed in France.

LKD, I am not asking for any specifics, yet it would be helpful to know the type of addiction you are interested in. Nicotine, alcohol, gambling... the list is long, though I must admit that the way your post was written made me think of chemical illegal substances.
Again, I may be wrong, but if this is true, the name of the substance would help. Addictions differ greatly. Are we talking of a stimulant or a depressive, a hallucinogen or pain killer?

Physiological symptoms are nowadays treatable, in most cases. Special rehabilitation centers exist in many countries. Many withdrawal symptoms of chemical substances are lessened chemically, too.
Psychological symptoms... are harder to fix. Something has to snap inside, so that you can rebuild yourself. Will is crucial. (imo)

I've seen addiction, or at least its consequences.
Someone... one of my childhood friends... got addicted to marijuana and later heroin. She was fifteen when she died. Her name was Suzana.

We used to play as kids and went to the same grade. I don't know what happened. She wanted to grow up so badly. We grew apart. I was always childish and she served beer at her eleventh birthday. At the time of her death we were strangers, an odd kind of friends who shared only past, nothing else, and yet friends, none the less. She rarely came to school back then. When she did, I tried to make her feel welcome, I tried to help, but I didn't want to be any more involved. I didn't know what to say. I am generally not good around people. Personal lives of others are just that - personal. I do not interfere. Here too, I continued acting like nothing had happened, like there was nothing to discuss.
I invited her to my 14th birthday, like nothing had changed since the time we were kids.We had pizza and ice cream and went for a walk. I live in a small town, and yet it seemed she and I knew two different towns. Every now and then she would point at some derelict building, or a secluded spot in the park and speak of the time she spent there... nights she spent there. I didn't even know those places existed. We parted when we met some of her acquaintances. She went with them and I returned home. About a year later, she was dead.

What I wanted to say is that if the problem in question is serious, then the person in question, who ever he/she might be, should treat it as such.

My only advice to them is: Pull out. Turn away and don't look back. Change everything if you have to, don't regret it, just walk away...

LKD, if your stepson's problem isn't related to drugs, I'll leave this post unchanged for a few days, and then, if no one minds, I'll delete the part in which my friend is mentioned. It's personal, and I'm only sharing it in hope that it will help, in some way.

Of course, it is quite possible that you started this thread with a relatively harmless addiction in mind, and that I made a misguided leap in logic. If that's the case, then I apologize... and also sorry for this post's length.

As for myself, personally – no classical addictions. I don't smoke, drink alcohol, coffee or tea for that matter.
Mildly addicted to PC games, though.

I appreciate your message, Loreseeker. I think the boy is dealing with Meth. Sadly, I'm not sure. I also think he has some sexual addictions. I can't get any more details easily, but I know my wife is pretty upset and I'm trying to figure out what to do to help her -- and rest assured, I'm doing more than asking on here. But you folks know all sorts of cool things and can give a different perspective on some things.

One thing I am pretty sure of is that he is not licking any toads or frogs, though ;) At least, I hope to hell he isn't. That would send my wife right over the edge.

Some sexual addictions? There's nothing wrong with that, especially with a young lad! He might need help to knock the meth on the head though. That is horrible, nasty, evil stuff. I'd never touch it. I hope the lad can shake it before anything gets too serious, LKD!

It's already bad, Barmy, he's got 2 charges pending. By sexual addictions I mean A: spending so much of his income on whores (and meth) that he can't pay his bills and B: Groping unwilling women (that's one of the charges.)

I haven't even met this kid yet, and to be honest I don't want to very much, but I want to be able to help his mom because I love her (I haven't met him because he lives several provinces away and the money we could spend to go see him is presently going toward covering his bills.)

You probably already know this LKD, but meth could be the reason for his sexual behavior. (If this is news to you, I'll elaborate.)

Since you haven't met him... is meth mentioned in the other charge, or are you assuming he's using it because of the above mentioned link?

My recommendation would be to make sure it is meth, somehow.

I understand that you are unwilling to meet him, but it will be very difficult to do anything from a distance. Is inviting him to your place also impossible, (since you can't visit him)?

Direct involvement would (imo) be far better, but his mom would probably be the person who should have the main roll in this, giving that you've never met him.

If his mom knows more, find a gentle way to have her share the info with you. (I have no idea how, but you need all the info you can get.)

Anyway, if you need some assistance regarding meth pharmacology terms, I might be able to help (pharmacy student), and am willing to.

I'm afraid the rest is way out of my league.

I hope things turn out well, for all involved.

I have an uncle who I believe may have been addicted to meth, if not addicted he still used it. He was on a variety of drugs for years until he just seemed to finally come to his senses. I think it was a combination of pressure (more encouragement) from his family and missing out on his kids growing up that made him stop, but he did it by himself. He came to his senses and realized he was throwing his life away, so he put all he had into quitting. He didn't seek outside help in this AFAIK, so it was just willpower for him (not sure if he was addicted then) to get his life together again.

I can't really understand addictions, probably because I've never been affected by one.

Also, a mental addiction? Can someone explain that for me? o.O

I can't really understand addictions, probably because I've never been affected by one.

Also, a mental addiction? Can someone explain that for me? o.O

You're only 16, what have you got to be addicted to? You're not legal for the good addictions yet ;).

Some sexual addictions? There's nothing wrong with that, especially with a young lad!

There is a difference in having urges and having uncontrollable urges. The first will go as normal hormonal activity, of which the lack of would be of more concern. I think most men have had some situations in their life when the contents of their pants have done the thinking rather than their brain. However the second one is quite a lot more than that and can very well result in criminal sexual behaviour or some serious sexual overactivity. Overactivity here meaning that the subject is willing to hump pretty much everything with two legs.

One thing I am pretty sure of is that he is not licking any toads or frogs, though

Hmph. I'd take licking toads/frogs over sexual addictions any time! ;)

You're only 16, what have you got to be addicted to? You're not legal for the good addictions yet ;).

Well, smoking, drinking and sex are all good qualifiers for me currently :p

You'd be surprised how many people my age have an addiction of some sort.

Some sexual addictions?

Americans are both obessed and fascinated by the notions of "sexual addictions." The slightest sexual scandal will consume news headlines for weeks on end, and Americans will watch. It's an odd kind of voyeurism. Then the person caught in the act must, of course, be "addicted" to sex. Sexual behavior is just about a cottage industry, with all the self-help and media types "informing" the public on what their sexual attitudes and behaviors should be. Yet, the American media is filled with "suggestions" of sex, and the pleasurable pursuit of sex, along with its other associated pursuits: Sex sells, and big time. Yet, how a person behaves sexually is still heavily regulated on almost all levels.

All this is merely an observation, and I'm not arguing for or against anything. It's really the same with drugs. There are drugs that are certainly dangerous and thusly, they and their uses are regulated. Nevertheless, the Comprehesive Drug Act, allows for the control of substances without the approval of Congress. That means that it is really beyond the control of the population, but is largely a political tool. The way to power is through pleasure, and what is determined to be a pleasurable "vice" is a pathway to even greater power.

What I would say to you, LKD, is that neither sex or drugs are really the problems, but are symptoms of something else: they are merely the expressions of something deeper that is leading to self-destructive behavior.

Chandos does bring up an interesting point about addiction. Sometimes addiction is the problem, but sometimes addiction is just a symptom of a greater problem. If it's the latter, tackling the Addiction merely leaves the addicted person vulnerable to the next--which may be worse than the original...

I am SP's biggest caffeine junkie. Enough said.

Chandos does bring up an interesting point about addiction. Sometimes addiction is the problem, but sometimes addiction is just a symptom of a greater problem. If it's the latter, tackling the Addiction merely leaves the addicted person vulnerable to the next--which may be worse than the original...

This is a key point. I self medicated with marijuana for years. I have PTSD stemming from multiple sources (child abuse, severe burns, a car accident, and my brothers murder). If I had simply stopped self medicating, I probably something worse would certainly have happened. Most likely violence of some kind. My rage was barely in check.
In 2004, I finally sought help, 3.5 years after my brother was killed. My world was falling apart. With therapy, medication and EMDR, I was able to put down pot and have been clean for 3 years, 9 months and 10 days.

Your friends son would probably be well served by seeing a therapist that deals with addiction. Having someone guide him down the path to sobriety will make success more likely.

That's a harsh story, Jack, thanks for sharing it. I'm not the brightest, though, so could you tell me what EMDR is?

That's a harsh story, Jack, thanks for sharing it. I'm not the brightest, though, so could you tell me what EMDR is?

It is a therapy used to treat PTSD.

There is a brief description of it here: http://www.ncptsd.va.gov/ncmain/ncdocs/fact_shts/fs_treatmentforptsd.html?opm=1&rr=rr32&srt=d&echorr=true

More information is available here:
http://www.emdr.com/

I think it was very brave of you to share that, Jack - kudos.

Yes, Jack. You've been through a great deal. My kudos to you as well.

These latest points are very valid. I have worked in a psychiatric ward for several years and seen all kinds of addictions. Most of if not all attempts of self medication of mental problems. There is generally a reason people turn to drugs, not many happy content people allow themselves to sink too deep into an addiction. The addiction is most of the time one symptom of a greater underlying problem. The person is not feeling well and he uses drugs to try and feel better as it is the only thing that seems to work if only in the short term. Therapy and the like is probably your best solution for your relative LKD.

Thank you all for your kind words.

****, Jack! I thought I had it rough when I realised I realised I've only got 2 fags left!

Rough stuff mate, good to see you're through it :thumb:

To be honest I am trying very hard to generate some compassion in my soul for my erstwhile stepson. His actions cause my wife pain and I don't like that one bit. I keep reminding myself that we all make mistakes and that Christ teaches we should forgive those who sin.

The other part of my frustration is the powerlessness that both I and my wife feel. Common sense says that he needs therapy and possibly medical isolation to get himself clean, but we have no way to force him into it. When it comes to his propensity for grabbing women, he just rolls his eyes and says "it's no big ******* deal, it's being blown all out of proportion!" in that arrogant tone only young men can get truly down pat.

keep strong jack, always remember that the only easy day was yesterday but tomorrow wont be any worse.

hey disciple, i might have you beat on the caffeine.
at present i have bawls & jolt cola to drink, caffeinated sunflower seeds, warp green t mints & black black gum to munch on.:p
caffeinated lip balm, shower shock caffeinated soap & bodywash & energy gel that you rub on your skin for an instant buzz!:eek:
comes from too much to do(& spending time online instead of doing work!:doh:) and never enough hours. if you want to get any of these products www.thinkgeek.com is a life saver

keep strong jack, always remember that the only easy day was yesterday but tomorrow wont be any worse.

hey disciple, i might have you beat on the caffeine.
at present i have bawls & jolt cola to drink, caffeinated sunflower seeds, warp green t mints & black black gum to munch on.:p
caffeinated lip balm, shower shock caffeinated soap & bodywash & energy gel that you rub on your skin for an instant buzz!:eek:
comes from too much to do(& spending time online instead of doing work!:doh:) and never enough hours. if you want to get any of these products www.thinkgeek.com is a life saver

The truly sad part is that you seem very proud of your addiction.

To be honest I am trying very hard to generate some compassion in my soul for my erstwhile stepson. His actions cause my wife pain and I don't like that one bit. I keep reminding myself that we all make mistakes and that Christ teaches we should forgive those who sin.

The other part of my frustration is the powerlessness that both I and my wife feel. Common sense says that he needs therapy and possibly medical isolation to get himself clean, but we have no way to force him into it. When it comes to his propensity for grabbing women, he just rolls his eyes and says "it's no big ******* deal, it's being blown all out of proportion!" in that arrogant tone only young men can get truly down pat.

It is normal to feel conflicted. You can (and as a fellow Christian, I urge you to) forgive him and try to empathize. That is very healthy and constructive.

The important thing to remember is that while you forgive and empathize, you don't excuse the unacceptable behavior that results from his addiction. This is the path to codependency and enabling. This will probably be harder for your wife than it is for you.

I have a cousin who has spent 80% of the time since he was 15 (he just turned 39) in prison for drug related crimes and crimes related to his addictions (theft, burglary, etc). My aunt and uncle spent untold amounts of money on treatment centers, rehabs, tough love camps, lawyers, etc. Never made a bit of difference. He is an unrepentant addict. He stole and hocked his mothers engagement ring. He stole and hocked his fathers tools. He stole my brothers car stereo.

Until he is ready (and I pray that some day he will be) to quit, he won't. And anyone who thinks they are helping him by giving him money or excusing his behavior, will only get burned by him.

rallymama, except for 1 vacation back in 99, i haven't had more than 3 - 3&a half hrs sleep a night in 2 decades. I'm one of those people that drinks a large cup of coffee 15 mins before i go to sleep, yet i still manage to shot masters in glock shooting events. Who knows. it might be time to schedule another vacation.