What idiotic features have you found while wandering?
I am really interested.
Who writes the funniest will win something...
er...something...good:)
e.g. a MUD character on a Hungarian server or something

Khalid.

Well, I dunno, I've combed High Hedge all over every screen in my current game and haven't found Kivan. I think it glitched or something...all I found were droups of gnolls, flind, skeletons, wild dogs, and gnolls. No Elven rangers. *sigh*

I did find a verry strange woman who had some name like a tree and she told me I shouldn't ask about tree's so I asked about trees and then she got mad and dissapeard....

Kivan is just northeast of the main building. He's standing in the shadow of some small tree, beside the main road.

And idiotic features? All those useless people wandering around in the wilderness, following your characters around for miles, just so they can say 'out of my way, I have an important message to Amn blahblah' and then dart off the opposite direction, get stuck in a tree and disappear. Or annoying people, like lord Binky the buffoon and Noober. What about that old hag in the same map as Safana who comes whining about everyone visiting her for help?

The best reply is something your main character can say to some guy in the city, BG. I can't remember which inn he's in, but he's on the top floor and talks a lot and has no point...anyways, the quote is: Funny, you talked for hours and yet said absolutely nothing. (or something similar) it had me laughing my @$$ off. :lol::lol:lol:

'Well-Adjusted Al' in Baldur's Gate is pretty funny - a complete psycho who sells potions. After he's finished his speech about how he's had years of therapy, you have the option of saying something along the lines of:

"Yes, yes, that's very nice. Now get your hand off my shoulder."

Well, I found it funny at least...

I found a funny option to say to that hermit guy

Ok, I've just had my FULL of riddle asking, quest assigning, insult throwing, pun hurling, hostage taking, iron mongering, smart arsed fools, freaks and felons that continually test my will, mettle, strength, intelligence and most of all patience! If you have a straight answer ANYWHERE in that bent little head of yours, I want to hear it pretty damn quick or I am going to take a large blunt object roughly the size of Elminster AND his hat. And stuff it lengthways into a crevice of your being that even the denizens of the nine hells themselves with a twenty-foot rusty halberd! Have I MADE myself perfectly CLEAR?!

Ah yes, the hermit. That had me cracking up big time

Noober.

Boo has been my friend since my h-head injury.

I ended up killing Noober because he was too annoying.

A reply: "ME? I could not be (Player name)! He has eyes of fire and a great booming voice! How could you mistake me for him?"
or something like that.

Read the graves in Nashkel. Those get me everytime!

One of the funnier things I found was the Xvart, the kobold, and another creature which I can't remember what it was at the moment. The kobold said, "Hi, I'm Larry, this is my brother Daryl, and this is my other brother Daryl." Then you can get their autographs. This is a reference to the TV show "Newhart" and had me cracking up.

Isn't there something about a cat?

8people, wasn't that the quest where you found a cat in the waterfall and it belonged to a little girl who said that it was no problem that the cat was dead: 'daddy will have to raise her again'

I have to agree that the graves are pretty good.:lol:

no... something with a cat where you are cuaght thieving or something and you say 'meow' and the person says 'I don't have a cat' and you say 'I am a stray'

Something like that anyway...

When you enter a building in Baldur's Gate, the owner wakes up and you can sing to him to get him back to sleep. Later he wakes up again and you say meow, then he goes back to sleep saying something like: its just the stupid cat. The third time he realises he doesn't have a cat and atacks you.

three got qutes.

1. Ya little monkey spanker - Tiax, who else

2. Ouch, i mean moo - when you presses on any cow many times - TotSC

3. nobody here but us chickens - when you presses on any chicken many times - TotSC

i do not know about you but i think that they are funny.

"Go for the eyes Boo!" still cracks me up every time!

I just started a new game and decided to have Xan and Montaron in my party, and i chuckled when Xan whimpered, "Stop touching me!". That took me back to the good old days of the Orcs in Warcraft2.

You are referring, of course, to Xzar. Xan is the whining elven enchanter.

It's simply HILARIOUS if you have Xan, Quayle and Alora in the same party.

Yesterday I was in Baldur's gate. My party had over 150.000 cash, now that is a lot of money, I had just spent 4000 gold on arrows, and I went to the duke. The only positive respons to his question I could give was: "2000 gold?!? Consider us hired!"

lol, that's less than I spent on arrows

The messengers that can walk through an area without getting attacked by monsters, but whenever I walk through there.... :rolleyes:

The belching patrons in the taverns.

The Courtesans that do not seem interested in earning more gold pieces. :D ;)

These are the funniest lines I found while playing through BG the last time.
Or something like this, so don´t bother correcting me.

Schizophrenic Edwin:
Don´t bother me, when I plot to overthrow you
(I kicked him out because I don´t like a party of 7)

Depressed Xan:
Why don´t we just lie down right here and die
(Helped him out of his misery)

Cannibalistic Xzar:
I ate his liver with a nice chianti and some fava beans
(Kicked him out because I was afraid of waking up and finding him breakfasting my liver with chianti and fava beans)

Poor Khalid:
T-t-t-that w-was all folks
(Kicked him out because of those extremely long c-c-conversations I had with him)

Garrick:
Brave, brave sir Garrick. Sir Garrick led the way.
Brave, brave sir Garrick. Sir Garrick ran away.
(He just ran away!)

:coffee:

(Now, when do I get my MUD-character?)

[ August 09, 2002, 12:48: Message edited by: Morgoth ]