My new race

[Register]

I've recently created a race named the "Scorpien" and I just want to have your opinion on it. It is located in my custom Campaign Setting named Nosaj Lrac and here is a pic for it; Clickety clickety!!

It's something like that at least.

Scorpien:

History:
A race of half-men, half-scorpions that originally comes from Varan, but have moved more and more to the civilized lands of Nosaj Lrac. They were neutral in the Final Stand as they were enemies of both the Varans and the Undead horde. After the Final Stand the Scorpien

Personality:
Most Scorpiens, about eight tenth, is greedy, bloodthirsty and unforgiving but small group of people, most former warriors that have seen enough of battle or women that have lost too many of their loved ones, form small, peaceful societies and form new clans.

Physical Description:
Scorpiens are short and agile and ranges from 4 1/2 to 5 1/4 long and weight from 95 to 150 pounds, no noteable differance between males and females. They look mostly like a normal human would do with two large differances; they have large carapace on their torso and a 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 long tail with a poison sting on the end. Clearly, the tail is mostly there for intimidating issues, but it gives a combat bonus that can give the Scorpien an edge in combat. They have long lifespans, very much like the dwarves, and reaches maturity around the age of 70, but different from elves and other long-living creatures, they give birth often, almost as often as Humans do. Scorpiens don't eat normal food, well, they do, but only whenever something is to celebrate, otherwise they just live on rocks and vegetables. Rumors goes that they are cannibals and eat eachother, but that is, just a rumor.

Relations:
Due to the fact that most people don't know of the Scorpiens they are commonly feared due to their intimidating looks, and the few people that DO know of them, like the Elves and the people of Statori, fear them as well due to their large and ever-raising numbers. However, most people are fair enough to give them a chance to prove themself, even if this is only trivial.

Aligment:
The Scorpiens is most commonly leaned to Lawful Evil, but most of those that isn't within that range, it is Chaotic Good that appeals them the most. Partly to upset their former lords, and partly that the uncommon Scorpiens that exists love freedom and the right to go wherever and whenever they want.

Scorpien Lands:
Due to their fairly recent arrival in the civilized lands and their nomad nature, they don't have much land to rule over, even though they were close to rule over Varan until the Human Varanans returned. They are splitted into clans with no leader of the race which leaves them seperated and divided if another race or nation would declare war on them. The scribe-writers and legendmaster speaks of a distant relative of Croz the Uniter would ally the clans and take back their, in their opinion, lands from the Human Varans.

Religion:
Most leaders and their warriors worship Darhi, lord of Deserts, but the most of the people worship, in secret due to fear of their clan-leaders to punish them, Zoboid, another god of Nature and Deserts. Most of the uncommon, good-minded clans worship Anaya or Lord Narud.

Language:
The Scorpiens have their own language which is called Scorpien, using the Espruar alphabet, which they have for so long that anyone could remember in Varan and most of the Scorpiens know Common, but not all, so diplomacy can't always be the answer if one is under attack by a raiding party.

Names:
A Scorpien earns his name at the age of 40, and when he have earned the name, it is written in stone, nothing can change it's apparence nor pronouncing. His last name is given to him when he is born, and it is a clan name, given to all of the clan. Most names are short and stubborn, and all female names ends with a vowel, with very few exeptions.
Male Names:
Frew, Draq, Trte, Lrac, Ypon, Bvex, Cog, Zandrix, Truykg
Female Names:
Tria, Lornde, Unya, Xza, Frota, Grehi
Clan Names:
Swiftkill, Deathblade, Crushblood, Deathfang, Splintshadow

Adventurers:
Not many Scorpiens become adventurers due to their duty to the clan, and those that eventually become adventurers end up as slaves or feasts for the animals. Few Scorpien adventurers actually becomes something in Nosaj Lrac, and those who do, they usually hide their differances from the Humans from the public so practically no-one knows of their race.


Scorpien Racial Traits:
+2 Dexterity, -2 Charisma: Scorpiens are quick and agile but not very appealing to the eye.

Medium-size: As Medium-size creatures, Scorpiens have no special bonuses or penalties due to their size.

Scorpien base speed is 30 feet.

Low-Light Vision: Scorpiens have adapted themself to the dark nights of Varan and have learned to see twice as far as a human with the aid of a torch or the like.

+2 Balance, +2 Intimidate, +2 Wilderness Lore racial bonus: The Scorpiens have learned to use their tail as support to balancing and to intimidate people whenever is neccesary. They are also very adapted to the nature and can orient themself in almost any enviroment if neccesary.

+2 Natural Armor Class Bonus: Their carapace gives them light natural defence.

Poison Sting: The Scorpiens can use their tail to deliver 1d4 piercing damage as a Natural Ability. It also delivers poison with a DC10+1/2HD+CON, Fortitude save, Initial 1d4 Strength if failed, Secondary 1d4 Strength. Poison damage is culmulative.

Automatic Languages: Scorpien, Home Region, and Common. Bonus Languages: Any. Scorpien have the ability to learn almost anything they want and can easily become adept at almost any skill and tounge.

ECL Modifier: +1

Favored Class: Ranger. Scorpien value the desert nature and the rangers, or pathfinders as they like to call them, is the most valued group of any army of the Scorpien, both used as scouts and warriors.

[ October 29, 2004, 01:04: Message edited by: Caleb* ]

[Lokken]

why one eart does it have +3 disguise?

would make more sense if you just gave more to climb and intimidate instead.

How is their connection to Stingers? Hated enemies, distant cousins, allies?

looks good though.

[Register]

Yeah, I was not sure about the +3 in disguise, but my logic is that if they want to be around other societies they'll have to hide their tail and legs, and so disguise, to be accepted and not killed at sight.
But now that I'm thinking on it, only few of them actually becomes adventurers, so I should change that.

And at risk to sounding dumb, what's a Stinger? Can you provide me with a link, or is it in the MM?

[EDIT]
1. I changed the disguise skill bonus with natural armor bonus but also restricted the Scorpiens from using heavy armors.
2. It wasn't in the MM, I've looked.
[/EDIT]

[ January 17, 2004, 20:24: Message edited by: Velve Zauviir ]

[Rotku]

Looks good, but I'd imagin that the tail would have more use, prehaps as a weapon or something.

And stinger would be the thing at the end of a scorpians tail which stings people.

[Register]

Yeah, but how could one that have a stinger on it's tail be ally with it? Or enemy? I take it that Lokken means a race, not the tail.

Plus, what should I give as kind of bonus to the tail? A new attack? If so, what penalties and bonuses should it have?

[Lokken]

Well a Stinger is an actual monster. It's a humanoid torso on scorpion body, and they're a race that has come from Maztica and now largely lives in the Anauroch desert. (if you have NWN:SoU, you will meet a few there). They're listed in Monsters of Faerun.

But yeah, I was thinking about the stinger-tail as a natural weapon too, but it would complicate things a bit and add some ECL's. Easiest thing would to rule it out unless you have some experience in doing it.

As for disguise, civilized societies in Anauroch deserts rarely exist except for the Beduine tribe people. Being of the desert, I think they hardly judge everyone as potential enemy, tail or no.

As for your Natural armor class, I think you should just give it a certain number. Else you'd probably have to make monster levels which, is not impossible, but just requires a bit more work.

In general, racial bonuses and others (like small symbolic bonuses) are always +2. Of course this is the guideline, not the rule, but it makes easy to remember in general, (halflings skill bonuses are +2, same with elves, gnomes etc.)

I'd suggest only small changes.
Nat. AC: +1
Climb +2, Intimidate +2, Survival +2 (as favored class is Ranger and they seem to be left for themselves in hard to reach places).

As for restrictions, it's a tough one. Putting restrictions on certain equipment due to your race is.. awkward. You could always get an armorsmith to special design a suit of armor for you as if you had wings.

If you want to "buff up" the race, you could add a few things here and there and make it an ECL +1 race. Could make for a little more diversity without ruining balance (for instance a progressive poison-sting attack). You always have to remember this line when making races.

Would I rather play this than a human? Would I always prefer this to a human?

If yes, then it's probably too powerful.

But it looks really good though.


EDIT:
Since they look more human-like than scorpion-like, perhaps swap climb with balance? A tail would definitely make it better at balancing.

A possible solution if you want a tail attack could be to use the scorpion poison from the MM.
The character uses a poison equal to his size with a DC of 10 + ½ HD + Cha mod.

So a level 5 fighter scorpien with 12cha would have a natural sting attack as follows.
Initial/Secondary (Fort save, DC 13).
1d4 strength / 1d4 strength.

Could add a fire resistance 5, and perhaps a minor spell-like ability, skill bonus, or another natural armor class bonus, and then give it ECL +1. As it would become ECL +1 you can compare to Tieflings and Aasimars on the power scale.

[ January 18, 2004, 01:40: Message edited by: Lokken ]

[Abomination]

I don't think +1 to AC is enough given the extent of the carapace on the image you have provided. Give him a natural +4 to generic armor class and +1 to ECL.

[Register]

Ok, I have nethier Monsters of Fareûn nor NWN:SoU so I'll have to check stingers up on WotC website.

Regarding disguise, I've removed it as stated above.

And with armor restriction, I don't think it's THAT odd, cause Halflings and Gnomes can't use two-handed weapons so it evens out in the end.

I know what to do with the tail, I give it 1D4 piercing damage, one attack per round and the poison damage you were talking about.

And survival? What kind of skill is that?

Editing the skills so the bonuses is +2 for the sake of 3E is ok, but with all the other bonuses I'll add an ECL of +1. Also, swapping clomb with balance seems reasonable enough.

@Abomination - +4 is a bit drastic and don't add that much flavour IMO, I think I'll go with Lokken's style, but don't get jelous.

[Oaz]

The character uses a poison equal to his size with a DC of 10 + ½ HD + Cha mod

The formula for determining poison DCs (and other DCs for special abilities based on bodily attacks) is 10 + half HD + Con mod.

IIRC there is also something similar to what you are describing in the Monster Manual 2.

[Register]

You mean the race? That means that you all will accuse me of stealing, then the mob of sp will chase me to a mill with torches and pitchforkes. *GULP*

I don't have the MM2, so I don't know if it already exists.

Fixed the CON thingie.

[Lokken]

Was wondering about the con/cha thing.

As for the armor, it is an odd restriction, because the halflings and gnomes restriction are not due to race, but due to size! there's a certain system in 3E that it might take awhile to realize.

Also I think that level improvements from race is a bad idea. Generally, if you want race improvements, you take race levels. Mixing this with race improvements during class levels is a bad idea since it'll throw off balance very very quickly. (if your Natural AC improves, we're no longer talking ECL +1).
Keep it simple, dont make the stinger magical or to-hit bonuses due to levels. If you want to improve your stinger, use feats to do so. That's what they're there for.

Survival would be Wilderness lore, sorry.

[Register]

Ok, I've added +2 Wilderness Lore and removed armor restrictions plus race levels, now the race should be complete.

[ January 18, 2004, 05:51: Message edited by: Velve Zauviir ]

[erekose]

Life span is a little too long. If you want them to be prolific breeders (ie. Humans) then they need a shorter lifespan.

[P4TRiQ]

Look at my new race!

The Fijitzi

The Fijitzi is a race who comes from the undeads, but only from the lawful good ones, called “The Saints”. Only one of ten Fijitzi is a male, but the men have only one wife, the rest of the females has to find a partner from another race.
The live deep in the woods and they are a very rare race.
Personality: The Fijitzi is relative new races so they are not well known by the other races. They are friendly and helpful people who live deep in the forests.
Physical Description: Fijitzis are almost always 5 feet tall and weigh about 120 pounds. The men are a bit smaller then the females. They have always light skin and they can have blue, red, brown or yellow eyes. The hair colour is almost always brown but sometimes black or blond. The hair is always straight except for the men who have curly hair. The Fijitzi men are the only Fijitzis who have facial hair. The Fijitzis can’t breed with other races so there is no “half-Fijitzis” Fijitzis live for about 400 years and reaches it life majority at 90-110 years.
Relations: They can live with all kinds of being but they prefer animals.
The only thing that matters is that the other being is not evil. They can’t stand the sight of death to those who don’t deserve it.
Alignment: The people of the Fijitzis always tend to be good and they hate the evil and chaos.
Fijitzi lands: The Fijitzi lives deep in almost very major forest and they have very little contact with the outside world except for the females who wants to have a man on their side.
Religion: The Chief deity of the Fijitzi is Mielikki, the goddess of the Forest.
She is “Our Lady of the Forest, the Forest Queen”. She always gives a safe travel for the Fijitzis.
Language: The Fijitzis speaks Celestial as their ancestors did but on the long way from the past the writing of the Celestial was lost so they write in Common.
Names: The Fijitzis has only one name but that name has a meaning witch only Fijitzis understand.
Male names: Artan (Gold heart), Kertak (Hunter of the day), Monge (Light bringer), Liversa (The All seeing), Maberska (Metal mind) and Lajem (Greenwood).
Female names: Levtresa (Life of the Forest), Xehartor (Hunter of the night),
Faarsio (Love of the Woods), Rákol (Cold night), Demas (Reborn from love),
Jamsakai (Heart of a sacred one), Nymax (Wall crawler), Maggina (lovely heart), Lindia (Beautiful) and Grewan (Holy life).
Adventures: The Fijitzis has only one adventure per life and that adventure is to find a partner. The men don’t leave the forests, they just get along in the deep forests, but sometimes the men wants to see what it is behind the trees. The men discover then that they are more needed out there behind the trees and the rocks of the woods.
FIJITZI RACIAL TRAITS
• +1 Charisma, +1 Dexterity, -1 Strength: The Fijitzis is a very beautiful but not as strong as the humans.
• Medium-size: As medium-size creatures, Fijitzis have no special bonuses or penalties due to their size.
• Fijitzis base speed is 25 feet.
• Wood cunning: Wood cunning grants Fijitzis a +2 racial bonus on checks to unusual woodwork, such as trapdoors, and plants.
• +1 racial bonus to attack rolls in forests: Fijitzis is very used to wood fights.
• +1 damage against evil creatures.
• -1 to attack rolls in darkness (except in forests): Fijitzis is afraid of the darkness outside woods.
• Undead blood: For all special abilities (except turn undead) and effects a Fijitzi is considered an undead. Fijitzis, for example, can use special undead weapons and items just as an undead.
• Automatic Languages: Celestial and Common. Bonus Languages: Elf, Orc, Animal and Draconic.
• Favoured Class: Ranger. A muliticlass Fijitzi ranger class does not count when determining whether he suffers an Xp penalty for multiclassing.


By: Patrik “RooK” Fredriksson
2004-02-02

some pics on them
http://raph.com/3dartists/artgallery/donghyun_kang1.jpg
http://raph.com/3dartists/artgallery/donghyun_kang2.jpg

[The_Swordalizer]

Hur hur ... they "prefer animals" hur hur

[P4TRiQ]

jupp.. just like me..
except girls..
girls+me=

[ February 03, 2004, 19:52: Message edited by: RooK the fallen ]

[Register]

The Fijitzis can’t breed with other races so there is no “half-Fijitzis”

The Fijitzi lives deep in almost very major forest and they have very little contact with the outside world except for the females who wants to have a man on their side.

Those to contradict themself. Just FYI!

IJITZI RACIAL TRAITS
• +1 Charisma, +1 Dexterity, -1 Strength: The Fijitzis is a very beautiful but not as strong as the humans.
• Medium-size: As medium-size creatures, Fijitzis have no special bonuses or penalties due to their size.
• Fijitzis base speed is 25 feet.
• Wood cunning: Wood cunning grants Fijitzis a +2 racial bonus on checks to unusual woodwork, such as trapdoors, and plants.
• +1 racial bonus to attack rolls in forests: Fijitzis is very used to wood fights.
• +1 damage against evil creatures.
• -1 to attack rolls in darkness (except in forests): Fijitzis is afraid of the darkness outside woods.
• Undead blood: For all special abilities (except turn undead) and effects a Fijitzi is considered an undead. Fijitzis, for example, can use special undead weapons and items just as an undead.
• Automatic Languages: Celestial and Common. Bonus Languages: Elf, Orc, Animal and Draconic.
• Favoured Class: Ranger. A muliticlass Fijitzi ranger class does not count when determining whether he suffers an Xp penalty for multiclassing.

If I were you, and I am glad that I am not, I would edit the stats so they would look like this:

IJITZI RACIAL TRAITS
• +2 Charisma, +2 Dexterity, -2 Strength: The Fijitzis is a very beautiful but not as strong as the humans.
• Medium-size: As medium-size creatures, Fijitzis have no special bonuses or penalties due to their size.
• Fijitzis base speed is 30 feet.
• Wood cunning: Wood cunning grants Fijitzis a +2 racial bonus on checks to unusual woodwork, such as trapdoors, and plants.
• +2 racial bonus to attack rolls in forests: Fijitzis is very used to wood fights.
• +2 damage against evil creatures.
• -2 to attack rolls in darkness (except in forests): Fijitzis is afraid of the darkness outside woods.
• Automatic Languages: Celestial and Common. Bonus Languages: Elf, Orc, Animal and Draconic.
• Favoured Class: Ranger. A muliticlass Fijitzi ranger class does not count when determining whether he suffers an Xp penalty for multiclassing.
ECL Modifier: +1

The reason that I have choosen to edit all 1's with 2's is the above menitoned in Lokken's post, it just fits better with the DnD settings like that.

Also, I've edited out the undead part, because they hafta come from some other race, and that would make them templates as I told you at home. Also, they don't look a bit like undead, if you ask me that is.

Also, I've hightened the base speed to 30 feet as the only race that have 25 feet in base speed is the Avariels, and that is because they are more used to fly, as you well know.

My two cents!!

[Sarevok•]

Ohh now that was painful to read RooK Nice work though but the name kind of sounds like a company that would make televisions or something like that yeah. Names need a little work ;d

[Mathetais]

...as I told you at home

Is this your little brother?

[chevalier]

It's beyond me how Mielikki would align with the undead. It's also beyond me how such a lawful race would choose a neutral good goddess as patron. It's beyond me why one in ten should be male. It's beyond me how they're undead and still "live" and why an undead creature should have a limited time of existence.

[Abomination]

What questionable drug drove you to make this race undead? Those pictures look very Final Fantasy like to me... did you rip them from FFXI? One in ten? Is this to make the women fall all over the men to be 'chosen' by the men as their partner? Why would the males only be allowed one partner if they're outnumbered 10 to 1? Obviously the survival of the species would require these males to copulate with as many females as possible to make up for their missing bretheren.

This race sounds like an excuse to write books about wild elf-life sex orgies :\

[Jaguar]

Don't be so hard on the guy. I am sure he's just new at this.

*pats RooK the fallen on the back for a good first attempt*

[Register]

@Math - Yes, he is.

@Chev and Abon - As Jaguar said, it's a oretty good attempt as he is pretty new to this, the closest to D&D he have been before is playing a bit in the IE games. But I will help him editing them.


BTW, the portraits are NOT from FF, he borrowed them from a public graphic artist, you can see the web-adress where he got the pictures in the link.

[The_Swordalizer]

A few questions:

How does a race come from the undead? undead can't reproduce or evolve... they're dead.

Why does a race that comes from the undead live in the woods? the undead aren't generally found near forests, dryads etc. hate them as being unnatural.

How does a race with 10 women per man not decline to nothing within a few generations?

If they are a "new race" how did they get into "every major forest"?

How does a race forget how to write a language but still speak it?

Why is the entire race lawful good? they are half undead and live in the woods, i would expect a more neutral alignment... lawful good suggests they are a highly ordered society, a tribal society of half undead doesn't seem right.

Altogether i think the idea of some kind of semi-undead race could have possibilities but it seems seperate to the "woodland warriors of good" you are using. i would suggest this should be 2 seperate races, an ancient race of woodland living, neutral good forest defenders, and a newly created race, cursed by a Deity and forced to live as half undead, rotting as they live and feeling the tug of the negative plane.

[P4TRiQ]

yes yes.. I will make some changes... in time it will please you as mutch as me..