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Old Tue, 27th Feb '01, 5:25pm   #1
Silroth
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>>>
Imoen is standing on the lower side of a deep cavern. The other members of her party on the far side are smoking some local weed, generating an atmosphere which makes 'fog of death' feel wholesome. She knows better than to interfere. Last time she used 'clean air', her brother had given her a major spanking ... with the flail of ages.
Her eyes, accustomed to the darkness, could make out some movement in the corridor ahead. The mage she is, she casts 'true sight' and senses a band of skeleton warriors about 100 feet away. She also senses the presence of other foul beats, but cannot recognize them.
How good it is to be able to spellweave. Until very recently her big brother had forbidden it. She hab been wounded so often in hte first line of fight, carrying only leather armor. Only after she had skillfully killed that mage and salvaged his elven chanimail had her situation improved. All the fighters wore far better armor, so she had been allowed to keep it. And now nobody could prevent her from casting spells, being a mage, being human !!!
But she has to react to the impeding atack. She quietly gives the alarm signal to the others. They see her, but indicate an interruption of their smoke is totally unwarrented.
So Imoen has to see to herself. She skillfully lays a little trap for the boldest of enemies, she senses slowly advancing towards her. She retreats sideways into the left corner besides a giant bolder she can use to hide behind. As the first of attackers is almost upon the trap, she starts the incantation for fireball. The trap springs, eleven poisoned spikes byting into the flesh of the unweary. Screems fill the cavern, causing angry shouts from the other partymembers. She sees a dozen figures appear in the cavern entrace, aims the fireball and fires. More cries of pain and indignation for walknig into her trap. Five heavily armed skeleton warriors rush towards her, giant broaswords ready. But in the center of the commotion, motionless himself stands a dark shapeless figure, who's strong magic shines like a bonfire in her mind. She quickly casts 'protection from magic weapons' before the first of angry slashes pour down on her. Crucial time not wasted, but still missing, as a 'finger of death' spell races towards her. She nimbly sidestepps beind the bolder, burries her torch in one of the warriers face and cuts down some of the others with Daystar. But spells streak in by the second. Most miss, but a fireball hurts her badly, 'cloud kill' makes her jump from her hiding place and run for safety. this leaves her open to the well aimed attacks from the sorcerer. Her left foot is a mess of blood and charcoal. She trips feeling 15 magic missiles rush over her head.Rolliong on the floor she gets off 'lower resistance' and 'chaotic commands', when 'Melf's acid arrow hits her'. She sees black dot dancing before her eyes, lets fire rain down on the enemies, now running disorientedly about.

Her party, now arriving, have an easy play against the remnants of what had been an attack force of evil and start the looting immediatly after the last skelleton warrior goes down.
The boss comes over to her:
"Imoen, you useless wench! Get a fire burning and make some coffee!!"
"I spent all my fire spells in the fight. Could you help me out with your torch, ... please."
Kheldorn now joins then:
"Child, your brother told you a hundred times, to fight melee like any honest man will!!"
"But I had to defend myself, none of you would help me!!"
"Look sis! If you go prowling in the darkness awaking the evil and causing nothing but hassle on the rest of us, don't go begging for assistance from us!"
Kheldorn:
"Not while were having a smoke at least!"
"Kheldorn, you just took that pair of boots from the mage. It's easy to see they are mage boots and to small for you anyway, could I please have them??? I go barefoot, my left foot is hurt and I didn't get any part of the loot yet."
"Look sis, leave brave Kheldorn in peace! If you don't join the looting while its goning on, that's just tough luck.I gave you some shoes on your birthday anyway!!"
"That was seven years ago. And the were houseslippers!"
"Look! I'm not taking anymore backtalk from you!"
Tal takes his mace of disruption from his weapon belt.

Imoen jumps up with a cry of pain as much as of the horror awaiting her. She keeps on jumping backwards on her right foot:
"Tal, don't please! Why are you doing this to me! You're my brother and I love you. Why. You others Help me!!!... pleeeeaaaasssseeee!. Nooooooooo!!!"
<<<

This is Silroth reporting for the Dimensional Inquirer.
But lets now her the other side:

Tal(the evil sorcerer):
I won't take seriously any comments telling me to make [Imoen]into yet another mage.
Now I might let her play along the mage role if I didn't have Aerie, but since I have, I certainly won't.


Kheldorn:
"I'll help any lady in need, but Tal's the boss. He's the one who splits the bounty. So I guess it's an family affair, I don't intrude into."

Aerie:
"I don't want to be beaten again! I'll say nothing!!

Minsc:
"Swordfighters are good! Mages can never be tusted! Where's the enemy???"

Boo:
"Feeeep"

Stay tuned to this thread, to await the uncovering of more scandals from evil sorcerers and wizards at large.
Silroth signs off.
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Old Tue, 27th Feb '01, 5:45pm   #2
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LOL!!

*Darien thinks that someone has WAY too much free time*
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Old Tue, 27th Feb '01, 5:51pm   #3
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ROFLMAO
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Old Tue, 27th Feb '01, 5:56pm   #4
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How was the mace used?
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Old Tue, 27th Feb '01, 6:04pm   #5
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Hmm, I could think of a few good ways. Still hungry must leave now
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Old Tue, 27th Feb '01, 6:21pm   #6
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I have way too littel time. Can't play anymore. Just enough for a flame now and then .

Shura, the same way as the flail. Sorry, I had to shorten the end a bit. Was too heartbreaking.
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Old Tue, 27th Feb '01, 9:31pm   #7
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LOL! *Ragusa thinks he has possible just a weeeeeeeeeeeeee little bit too much time*
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Old Tue, 27th Feb '01, 11:15pm   #8
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*Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off*
And I thought that topic in Whatnots about Grub was the funniest in a while. This one brought tears to my eyes.

Bravo is all I can say. Too bad it's pretty inaccurate. I never had Keldorn in my party and mages can't use flails or maces (our hands fall off if we do dontcherknow).

And the problem is that my alignment is chaotic good. You'd have to fit the story to that a bit more carefully. You could still make me look evil, but it'd have to be done in a more subtle way.

Waiting for Part 2.
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Old Wed, 28th Feb '01, 10:19am   #9
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I accept your critics Tal, and wow to do better next time.
As for your alignment, Imoen evidently percieves this differently than you do. I'm just the honest reporter telling the facts as they are .
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Old Wed, 28th Feb '01, 11:19pm   #10
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Right. And Boo's a squirrel.
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Old Thu, 1st Mar '01, 5:43pm   #11
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Boo IS a squirrel. I polymorphed him. muahahahahahahahahaha
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Old Fri, 2nd Mar '01, 2:26pm   #12
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BTW Tal, I talked to Imoen about that flail of ages business; she stays with her story and quotes you with:
"I don't like doing this to you! It hurts me more than it does you, but it's necessary. One day you will understand, and be thankful!"

Apart from the fact, that thats a very nasty line, it does give credibility to Imoens version. Your hands wouldn't have fallen off by such non-combat use, just hurt like hell.

And yes, she said, she wasn't thankful yet.

[This message has been edited by Silroth (edited March 02, 2001).]
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Old Fri, 2nd Mar '01, 6:12pm   #13
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...I was thinking of more....perverted...um..liberated uses of the flail and the mace on Imoen...
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Old Fri, 2nd Mar '01, 10:36pm   #14
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I didn't doubt for a second that you did Shura. Not for a second.
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Old Fri, 2nd Mar '01, 10:47pm   #15
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Please, Shura, feel free to refrain from enlightening us...

[This message has been edited by Darien Noella (edited March 02, 2001).]
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Old Sat, 3rd Mar '01, 4:15am   #16
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Heh, I can't say I blame them, I'd be mighty upset if somebody threw a monkeywrench in my 'pow wow'. Imoen got what she had coming.

Me smokum me peace pipe.
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Old Sat, 3rd Mar '01, 6:20pm   #17
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Old Sat, 3rd Mar '01, 7:41pm   #18
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Hilarious Silroth,

had to reply.
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Old Wed, 24th Apr '02, 7:53pm   #19
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Great story! ...Eh, would you mind if I did a bit of work on it? I promise I won't publish without notifying you first.

[This post is a year and a half old. Check post dates next time first.] -Tal

[This message has been edited by Taluntain (edited April 24, 2002).]
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Old Thu, 2nd May '02, 11:36am   #20
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The end of the story reminds me of a canibal corpse song, ***** with a knife But maybe that's just my twisted fantasy .

Anyway Imoen does suck!

[Go read the Forum Rules. No swearing.] -Tal

[This message has been edited by Taluntain (edited May 03, 2002).]
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Old Fri, 3rd May '02, 12:21am   #21
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Quote:
Anyway Imoen does suck!
What?!??! She can backstab for MASSIVE damage, set incredibly dangerous traps en masse, and can get her AC down to -24... oh wait... I guess you didn't turn her back into a pure thief like I did. Oh well your loss.
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Old Fri, 3rd May '02, 8:22am   #22
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Well I found out Nalia was much better as thief. And in TOB when I needed a sorceress, she was doing fine to. I had no need for Imoen.

Nalia rules, she learns quick, knows how to fight and can disable traps better than Imy.
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Old Mon, 6th May '02, 9:18pm   #23
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Umm...Imoen?

How can she backstab for Massive damage? She's a level 7 thief!!
She can only set 2-3 Traps, and those are only normal traps. She doesn't have a very high Set traps skill either, only 30% or something.
And AC doesn't go below -10 anyway!!!

Btw, this was Without <u>Cheating</u> using ShadowCHEATER!!
 
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