He's got balls!

Jesper898 · Sun, 23rd May '04, 8:31pm

Got this one from Darwin awards

Quote:

Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everitt Sanchez
tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course.
Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed
to straddle the ball washer and dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much to
his dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the
machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the
mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain, collapsed
and tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez, the height of the
ball washer was more than a foot higher off the ground than his testicles
are in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link. Sanchez's
scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was plucked from
him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle was
compresed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer,
and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a
new $300.00 driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and was
using to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery,
and the remaining threesome were asked to leave the course.

He didn't die, but they included it anyway because he did humanity a favor, by not being able to reproduce.

[ May 23, 2004, 22:47: Message edited by: Jesper898 ]

fade · Sun, 23rd May '04, 9:25pm

Ow, all I have to say is, ow.

Splunge · Sun, 23rd May '04, 9:32pm

In what is probably the understatement of the year - "Ouch"

Hugo · Sun, 23rd May '04, 10:17pm

I feel serious pain just thinking about that.
Poor bloke.
PS. Or should that be gal now?

Aldazar · Mon, 24th May '04, 7:54am

Kinda reminds me a little of an article I read once about a guy playing Rugby who got tackled hard enough to dislocate his leg from his hip - when the on-field doctor popped the leg back in, a testicle was caught in the socket and the guy ripped a vocal chord with his screaming as a result.

Faragon · Mon, 24th May '04, 9:23am

We're slowly getting there. One idiot at a time.

Gothmog · Mon, 24th May '04, 8:52pm

We should be proud of them. They are exploring the limits of human physical endurance after all.

Riiiight.

@Aldazar

Imagine that guy walking with a hip like that

Vyndin Source · Mon, 24th May '04, 9:41pm

Quote:

They are exploring the limits of human physical endurance after all.

Well, we do have those guys in Jackass and Dirty Sanchez.... Problem is that they are not normal...

btw: Should'nt the thread name be "He had balls"?

Faerus Stoneslammer · Tue, 25th May '04, 6:50am

Aie! I would feel bad for the guy, if he wasn't such a complete dunce. I have to agree that his loss is the world's gain. Such an idiot.

Wordplay · Tue, 25th May '04, 3:02pm

I'm sure he is thinking the same, while suffering the loss of his "balls" to a "ball-washer."

Outch? More like helluva big yeooowch! Lucky him -to be drunken to feel it all.

Takara · Tue, 25th May '04, 4:07pm

Just think though, it'd give you one hell of an annecdote to tell at parties. "This reminds me of that time waaaaaay back......"

Jaguar · Wed, 26th May '04, 12:22am

How much did he have to drink? I mean, seriously, the machine was designed to take the balls and wind them around and around and around. Idiot...

Icingdeath45 · Wed, 26th May '04, 1:48am

He must have been incredibly drunk..that has to be the most idiotic thing i have ever heard.

Shazamdude · Wed, 26th May '04, 2:05am

Hm... if I were him (and thank God I'm not) I'd have some words with the guy who turned the thing on. I'd be sure to take a set of pliers and a blowtorch. And I'd cancel my appointments for the next few days, because I'd be visting him a while.

nior · Wed, 26th May '04, 8:53am

Looks like he got a hole in one of his ball pouch.

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Sun, 23rd May '04, 9:25pm	#2
fade Gems: 13/31 Latest gem: Ziose Join Date: May 2003 Location: The depths of your imagination Posts: 544 Like: 0 Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts vBActivity - Stats XP: 1,603 Level: 13 vBActivity - Bars Level Completion: 47.27% Daily Activity 2.21% Weekly Activity 0.95% Monthly Activity 1.4% Achievements	Ow, all I have to say is, ow.

Sun, 23rd May '04, 9:32pm	#3
Splunge SPS Account Holder Bhaal’s financial advisor Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: In hiding after Bhaal became Lord of Murder when I had him put everything into subprime mortgages. Posts: 6,555 Like: 13 Liked 61 Times in 41 Posts vBActivity - Stats XP: 15,935 Level: 36 vBActivity - Bars Level Completion: 25.14% Daily Activity 2.21% Weekly Activity 7.25% Monthly Activity 5.81% Achievements Awards	In what is probably the understatement of the year - "Ouch"

Sun, 23rd May '04, 10:17pm	#4
Hugo Gems: 15/31 Latest gem: Waterstar Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Behind my PC, most likely Posts: 747 Like: 0 Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts vBActivity - Stats XP: 2,049 Level: 15 vBActivity - Bars Level Completion: 1.99% Daily Activity 2.21% Weekly Activity 0.95% Monthly Activity 1.4% Achievements	I feel serious pain just thinking about that. Poor bloke. PS. Or should that be gal now?

Mon, 24th May '04, 7:54am	#5
Aldazar Gems: 24/31 Latest gem: Water Opal Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Behind the beer taps Posts: 1,895 Like: 0 Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts vBActivity - Stats XP: 4,387 Level: 20 vBActivity - Bars Level Completion: 93.8% Daily Activity 2.21% Weekly Activity 0.95% Monthly Activity 1.4% Achievements	Kinda reminds me a little of an article I read once about a guy playing Rugby who got tackled hard enough to dislocate his leg from his hip - when the on-field doctor popped the leg back in, a testicle was caught in the socket and the guy ripped a vocal chord with his screaming as a result.

Mon, 24th May '04, 9:23am	#6
Faragon Next elven archer gets me axe in his belly Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Breda, The Netherlands. Posts: 2,015 Like: 0 Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts vBActivity - Stats XP: 4,822 Level: 21 vBActivity - Bars Level Completion: 81.14% Daily Activity 2.21% Weekly Activity 0.95% Monthly Activity 1.4% Achievements	We're slowly getting there. One idiot at a time.

Mon, 24th May '04, 8:52pm	#7
Gothmog SPS Account Holder Man, a curious beast indeed! Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: That big Forest - Slovenia Posts: 1,829 Like: 0 Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts vBActivity - Stats XP: 4,402 Level: 20 vBActivity - Bars Level Completion: 96.94% Daily Activity 2.21% Weekly Activity 0.95% Monthly Activity 1.4% Achievements	We should be proud of them. They are exploring the limits of human physical endurance after all. Riiiight. @Aldazar Imagine that guy walking with a hip like that

Tue, 25th May '04, 6:50am	#9
Faerus Stoneslammer Gems: 16/31 Latest gem: Shandon Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: The far north...err, Canada! Posts: 852 Like: 0 Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts vBActivity - Stats XP: 2,274 Level: 15 vBActivity - Bars Level Completion: 71.3% Daily Activity 2.21% Weekly Activity 0.95% Monthly Activity 1.4% Achievements	Aie! I would feel bad for the guy, if he wasn't such a complete dunce. I have to agree that his loss is the world's gain. Such an idiot.

Tue, 25th May '04, 3:02pm	#10
Wordplay Est unusquisque faber ipsae suae fortunae Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: --Gone-- Posts: 3,453 Like: 0 Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts vBActivity - Stats XP: 7,452 Level: 26 vBActivity - Bars Level Completion: 30.92% Daily Activity 2.21% Weekly Activity 0.95% Monthly Activity 1.4% Achievements	I'm sure he is thinking the same, while suffering the loss of his "balls" to a "ball-washer." Outch? More like helluva big yeooowch! Lucky him -to be drunken to feel it all.

Tue, 25th May '04, 4:07pm	#11
Takara SPS Account Holder Distinguished Member My goodness! I see turnips everywhere Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Uncle gerhadts turnip still Posts: 3,598 Like: 0 Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts vBActivity - Stats XP: 8,034 Level: 27 vBActivity - Bars Level Completion: 17.19% Daily Activity 2.21% Weekly Activity 0.95% Monthly Activity 1.4% Achievements	Just think though, it'd give you one hell of an annecdote to tell at parties. "This reminds me of that time waaaaaay back......"

Wed, 26th May '04, 12:22am	#12
Jaguar This poster is close captioned for the thinking impaired Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: BC, Canada - Canuckian, and proud of it. Posts: 2,542 Like: 0 Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts vBActivity - Stats XP: 5,894 Level: 23 vBActivity - Bars Level Completion: 78.92% Daily Activity 2.21% Weekly Activity 0.95% Monthly Activity 1.4% Achievements	How much did he have to drink? I mean, seriously, the machine was designed to take the balls and wind them around and around and around. Idiot...

Wed, 26th May '04, 1:48am	#13
Icingdeath45 Gems: 12/31 Latest gem: Moonstone Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 453 Like: 0 Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts vBActivity - Stats XP: 1,429 Level: 12 vBActivity - Bars Level Completion: 81.14% Daily Activity 2.21% Weekly Activity 0.95% Monthly Activity 1.4% Achievements	He must have been incredibly drunk..that has to be the most idiotic thing i have ever heard.

Wed, 26th May '04, 2:05am	#14
Shazamdude Gems: 5/31 Latest gem: Andar Join Date: May 2003 Location: sydney. The one in Canada, not australia. Posts: 130 Like: 0 Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts vBActivity - Stats XP: 635 Level: 8 vBActivity - Bars Level Completion: 95.3% Daily Activity 2.21% Weekly Activity 0.95% Monthly Activity 1.4% Achievements	Hm... if I were him (and thank God I'm not) I'd have some words with the guy who turned the thing on. I'd be sure to take a set of pliers and a blowtorch. And I'd cancel my appointments for the next few days, because I'd be visting him a while.

Wed, 26th May '04, 8:53am	#15
nior Gems: 24/31 Latest gem: Water Opal Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: philippines Posts: 1,778 Like: 0 Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts vBActivity - Stats XP: 4,360 Level: 20 vBActivity - Bars Level Completion: 88.07% Daily Activity 2.21% Weekly Activity 0.95% Monthly Activity 1.4% Achievements	Looks like he got a hole in one of his ball pouch.